THE STORY OF THE BAD OMEN.

It would have been an otherwise normal month at the ZSB--as normal as it ever gets anyway, if it hadn't been for a snafu of nuclear proportions. As I already said, people were marrying each other, but this is something humans usually do out of pure boredom, which is why hick country is notorious for this sort of thing. In the afternoon two guys named Virgo and Bad Omen stampeded into the board without warning and started posting rubbish. Normally this sort of thing can get you hated by everyone at the entire board except for low forms of life like the following September's Toucan Sam, but the odd thing was, Virgo and Omen's mindless posting wasn't creating a stir at all. See, the problem was, they were posting raunchy, hideous stuff, which wasn't much different from what usually went on the board three or four times a day. They weren't making much of an impact, but even still, I didn't know anything about them. All I had to go on was the only known photograph of them together:

Don't ask me how I happened to have the photo because I still don't understand why. But I needed more information than this. So I Instant-Messaged my ol' buddy Polas to ask him if he knew. He did; he said Virgo and Bad Omen were two guys who routinely invaded boards, posted a bunch of junk, and then left. They had apparently picked us tonight. That same afternoon, CJayC, the owner and proprietor of the whole GameFAQS site, informed everyone that the message boards were nearing their 10,000,000th post. This was a lot of zeroes, and several boards went into a heated competition to beat each other to this coveted position of honor. Meanwhile, Virgo and Bad Omen busied themselves by typing up a raunch-filled series of posts they called the "Zelda Strip Club." You can guess what happened by now. Late that night, CJayC announced that the TEN MILLIONTH POST had been posted. From: Zelda Social Board |Posted by: Bad Omen|Time: 11:32 PM Heh, he said wood. Well, it was sure a happy GameFAQS that night. "WOOD???" people across the GF universe screamed. "HOW STUPID IS THIS???" The "wood" reference, of course, was obviously meant to be some perverted Beavis-style innuendo. Uh, at least I think so. It certainly wasn't the meaning of life, as some had hoped for. Well, we certainly got some attention that night. People peeked into the ZSB from all over, I'm sure. One person on CJay's Announcements board asked what kind of board the post exactly came from; the reply from someone else was "I was just there; it's, uh, pretty full of hormonal children." And 3 posts on the front page were from me, which probably gave me more exposure than my Nintendo Power letter (volume 144)). Our stigma of being branded Hormonal Children plagues us to this day....okay, maybe not. Well, whatever force in the universe went wrong that evening, we had Virgo and Bad Omen to thank, who was certainly well-named after this incident. Bad Omen made a second name for himself after this whole mess: "Heh he said wood." And he wore the badge proudly, as he had become not just a lowly GameFAQS message board pest, but a pest with something to sincerely brag about. And who could ask for more than he? We now return you to the History page.