| Return of Q&A with Polas |
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| From: Polas | Posted: 4/7/2002 11:20:31 PM | Message Detail
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All right, I feel I've taken a long enough hiatus, and as a result you shall no longer be deprived of the greatest single topic in ZSB history. And of course, for the uninitiated:
I am Polas, master of all knowledge. In this topic, I answer questions put forth by other members of the ZSB. In my topic, all of my answers are right, period. You may ask any type of question, but the stupider ones tend to draw better answers - just don't try too hard, or be too stupid, because then the quality drops and you annoy me, which gives me the right to ignore you for awhile. You are allowed to ask up to 5 questions at a time before I answer them, anything exceeding that total will be ignored and probably ridiculed.
There you have it. Depending on the quality and quantity of your questions, we'll either hit 500 again, or I'll close it when I start to get bored. So good luck, and have fun.
---
I'm Polas .... and you're not.
Polas' Goodtime Retro Cafe: http://www.angelfire.com/ny5/polas |
| From: ScumBag | Posted: 4/7/2002 11:25:27 PM | Message Detail
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What ever happened to that guy with the mustache made of pretzels?
Do you know any HOT MOMMAS?
Why am I so freakin handsome?
River city Ransom or Double Dragon?
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.If you hold someone's head under water long enough.There's a point where they'll either give up and drown.Or they'll Destroy you. |
| From: Polas | Posted: 4/7/2002 11:32:39 PM | Message Detail
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ScumBag:
What ever happened to that guy with the mustache made of pretzels?
He eloped with the singing round guy from the Pringles tubes, and they happily live in a deluxe San Francisco apartment. Little known fact: they were secretly married by Mr. Peanut.
Do you know any HOT MOMMAS?
That chick from the Dandy Warhols. Are they still a band?
Why am I so freakin handsome?
You've been talking to me a lot more lately. Coincidence? No sir.
River city Ransom or Double Dragon?
Double Dragon is of course THE classic as far as side-scrolling beat 'em ups are concerned, but none of the DD games have guys who say "BARF" when killed, nude sauna activity, and something called "Acro Circus", so RCR gets the nod. DD5 was pretty screwed up though, reminds me of Shaq-Fu a bit, actually.
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I'm Polas .... and you're not.
Polas' Goodtime Retro Cafe: http://www.angelfire.com/ny5/polas |
| From: ScumBag | Posted: 4/7/2002 11:38:35 PM | Message Detail
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I have a balloon growing out of my ear!What should I do!?!?!
If I put a sweat band on my leg instead of my head,could I be a trend setter?
I lost my hub cap.Where should I look for it?
I have a green thumb.Does that mean I'm in good health?
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.If you hold someone's head under water long enough.There's a point where they'll either give up and drown.Or they'll Destroy you. |
| From: Mars | Posted: 4/8/2002 12:14:49 AM | Message Detail
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Polas, did you know tonight's Simpsons was the very first one to get a TV14? I'm thinking it was because of the pot....
But here's my question: What did the last 5 minutes (where Homer and Smithers had to make a puppet out of Mr. Burns) have to do with the rest of the plot?
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"I'm hungly. May I please have two beafboals?"--Selphie in the FF8 Debug Room |
| From: Polas | Posted: 4/8/2002 12:21:56 AM | Message Detail
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ScumBag:
I have a balloon growing out of my ear!What should I do!?!?!
Nothing; this just proves what we've known all along, there's nothing in your head except hot air.
:rim shot:
If I put a sweat band on my leg instead of my head,could I be a trend setter?
If by "trendsetter" you mean "guy who hilariously trips and falls every few seconds", then yes.
I lost my hub cap.Where should I look for it?
If there's a shred of good left in the world, Beavis & Butt-Head are currently playing frisbee with it.
I have a green thumb.Does that mean I'm in good health?
No, it means stop picking your damn nose.
---
I'm Polas .... and you're not.
Polas' Goodtime Retro Cafe: http://www.angelfire.com/ny5/polas |
| From: Polas | Posted: 4/8/2002 12:23:50 AM | Message Detail
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What did the last 5 minutes (where Homer and Smithers had to make a puppet out of Mr. Burns) have to do with the rest of the plot? -Mars
About as much as Phish did.
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I'm Polas .... and you're not.
Polas' Goodtime Retro Cafe: http://www.angelfire.com/ny5/polas |
| From: Polas | Posted: 4/8/2002 12:25:27 AM | Message Detail
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The other question -Mars
Oh, and on the "TV14" box it had a V, which I believe means violence. I could be wrong.
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I'm Polas .... and you're not.
Polas' Goodtime Retro Cafe: http://www.angelfire.com/ny5/polas |
| From: Alissa | Posted: 4/8/2002 1:12:05 AM | Message Detail
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ok this one has been bugging me for awhile...
Blueberries are called blueberries, but they are purple.
Blackberries are called blackberries, but they are also purple.
There is no such thing as a purpleberry.
WHYYYY?
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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ |
| From: ZimGirl | Posted: 4/8/2002 1:34:04 AM | Message Detail
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Intelligent, sexy, AND funny? Are you for real?
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| From: Polas | Posted: 4/8/2002 1:53:28 AM | Message Detail
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Blueberries are called blueberries, but they are purple.
Blackberries are called blackberries, but they are also purple.
There is no such thing as a purpleberry.
WHYYYY? -Alissa
God figured it wouldn't matter, since they all end up as dingleberries in the end anyway.
: successfully fufilled gross quotient for the day :
Intelligent, sexy, AND funny? Are you for real? -ZimGirl
Of course I'm not, long-timers of this board know that I'm actually a computer program designed by a cult of video store clerks to preserve the memory of classic video games. As far as the sexy and funny part, I think they left Caddyshack on a continous loop during my conception. Growl.
---
I'm Polas .... and you're not.
Polas' Goodtime Retro Cafe: http://www.angelfire.com/ny5/polas |
| From: DarthNemo | Posted: 4/8/2002 4:32:29 AM | Message Detail
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Are you impotent?
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on cold lonely nights, I'll just say, "hey, Evan called me a dillhole..." and feel all warm and fuzzy inside-McGray |
| From: Suicune | Posted: 4/8/2002 4:42:41 AM | Message Detail
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Is death really that bad?
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The heroine of time.Santa Claus is a communist, he wears red and gives presents to kids who don't deserve them.hides a knife in the closet-Vyse the heroic |
| From: ScumBag | Posted: 4/8/2002 9:45:17 AM | Message Detail
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If I had buck teeth,overalls,a hoe,and 20 unusable cars.....What would I be?
Hot dogs,or Wieners?
Is it possible to drink garbage water without consequence?
Why don't all hockey players wear protective masks?
Why haven't I watched a wrestling showing since 1992?
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.If you hold someone's head under water long enough.There's a point where they'll either give up and drown.Or they'll Destroy you. |
| From: idiotbx3 | Posted: 4/8/2002 12:19:21 PM | Message Detail
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is heaven really a place on earth?
---
"I am Error" |
| From: Linkmaster | Posted: 4/8/2002 12:23:32 PM | Message Detail
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Am I just a figment of your imagination?
Did the jewish man that told me to burn down the grocery store plan to hit me over the head with a jack rabbit?
How many cells are in your body?
Do you like cheese?
Did I forget to take out the garbage?
---
Sucessful 500 posts topics made:1
Sucessful 500+ posts topics made:1 |
| From: Beefer | Posted: 4/8/2002 12:46:22 PM | Message Detail
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Raargh! Does anyone really, truly love Beefer! Beefer need to know! Beefer needs loved! Raargh! And coffee, because it am Beefer's sweet master!
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BEEFY, STEAMY, and Hard To Resist!" |
| From: BJORN THE IMPALER | Posted: 4/8/2002 1:13:15 PM | Message Detail
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why is my lab mouse and his idiot lab rat friend trying to take over the world?
sausage or street fighter?
if i was a spaghetti would you eat me?
if you could be any article of clothing what would it be?
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7/5ths of all people don't understand fractions
http://cgi.gamefaqs.com/boards/gentopic.asp?board=1777 The EWDUB! |
| From: Polas | Posted: 4/8/2002 1:31:51 PM | Message Detail
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Are you impotent? -DarthNemo
Years of mass Mountain Dew consumption and hanging out with pot smokers may have left my sperm count DOA, but I can still keep it up allll, night long.
Is death really that bad? -Suicune
I hope not for your sake, since you're about 9 hours closer.
ScumBag:
If I had buck teeth,overalls,a hoe,and 20 unusable cars.....What would I be?
Tuesday's opening guest on Jerry Springer. You may need a few more hoes.
Hot dogs,or Wieners?
Only wieners have a catchy theme song.
Is it possible to drink garbage water without consequence?
It's not possible to do anything without consequence.
Why don't all hockey players wear protective masks?
They're tough bastards. Tough, stupid bastards.
Why haven't I watched a wrestling showing since 1992?
"Wrestling showing"? You make it sound like Broadway, which I suppose it kind of is. I'm guessing Papa Shango scared you off. Worry not, he recinded voodoo and became a successful, law-abiding pimp.
is heaven really a place on earth? -idiotbx3
I used to think it was Dom's Video, then they turned it into "Blue Paradise" adult video, and then I think a butcher shop. So yeah, it's probably that place.
Linkmaster:
Am I just a figment of your imagination?
One can always hope.
Did the jewish man that told me to burn down the grocery store plan to hit me over the head with a jack rabbit?
Repeatedly.
How many cells are in your body?
Unlike most people, just one really really big one. I rule.
Do you like cheese?
No.
Did I forget to take out the garbage?
Talk to ScumBag, he might have a job for you.
Raargh! Does anyone really, truly love Beefer! Beefer need to know! Beefer needs loved! Raargh! And coffee, because it am Beefer's sweet master! -Beefer
I would say "no", rip into you, and mock your values system, but you're a slave to coffee, so that bumps you up a few notches. Carry on.
BJORN THE IMPALER:
why is my lab mouse and his idiot lab rat friend trying to take over the world?
Remember that episode where Brain went to counseling, and Ross Perot and Steven Spielberg were there? I think that one explained it.
sausage or street fighter?
There should be a sausage IN Street Fighter, yet another reason Melee kicks ass.
if i was a spaghetti would you eat me?
Of course. I'd probably eat you anyway. Rarrr.
if you could be any article of clothing what would it be?
It's a toss-up between my leather pants, or the panties of that lead singer chick from Arch Enemy.
---
I'm Polas .... and you're not.
Polas' Goodtime Retro Cafe: http://www.angelfire.com/ny5/polas |
| From: Cribbs is Back | Posted: 4/8/2002 1:39:02 PM | Message Detail
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Do you think Resident Evil is worth picking up?
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Cribbs,
...is back |
| From: ScumBag | Posted: 4/8/2002 1:40:45 PM | Message Detail
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How did Papa Shango Beat the Ultimate Warrior?
Wasn't that the coolest damn thing you've ever seen in wrestling?
Oi! A wrestling showing!!!!What was I thinking?
Am I male or female?
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.If you hold someone's head under water long enough.There's a point where they'll either give up and drown.Or they'll Destroy you. |
| From: Polas | Posted: 4/8/2002 1:45:50 PM | Message Detail
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Do you think Resident Evil is worth picking up? -Cribbs is Back
Not personally, as I've never been a fan of the series. However, it's to my understanding that there are a lot of new additions, and a lot has been rearranged, so I'd probably venture to guess that fans of the original won't be disappointed or wasting their cash ala Super Mario Advance. Plus, if you're a graphics whore, it's a must-buy.
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I'm Polas .... and you're not.
Polas' Goodtime Retro Cafe: http://www.angelfire.com/ny5/polas |
| From: Polas | Posted: 4/8/2002 1:48:44 PM | Message Detail
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ScumBag:
How did Papa Shango Beat the Ultimate Warrior?
I don't think he ever beat him, just placed a curse on him that brought on chronic atrocious acting and caused him to spit pea soup in the air.
Wasn't that the coolest damn thing you've ever seen in wrestling?
The coolest thing ever in wrestling was Hardcore Holly's consecutive title victories at Wrestlemania 14 and 15.
Oi! A wrestling showing!!!!What was I thinking?
Go back to the balloon question.
Am I male or female?
Probably.
---
I'm Polas .... and you're not.
Polas' Goodtime Retro Cafe: http://www.angelfire.com/ny5/polas |
| From: Beefer | Posted: 4/8/2002 2:00:03 PM | Message Detail
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RRaargh! Why small children try to poke Beefer with sharp sticks?
RRgh! Why coffee such sweet love?
ANd Beefer want to know why Santa don't stop by more often!
Why Beefer feel dirty on Zelda social board all the time?
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BEEFY, STEAMY, and Hard To Resist!" |
| From: Polas | Posted: 4/8/2002 2:41:07 PM | Message Detail
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Beefer:
RRaargh! Why small children try to poke Beefer with sharp sticks?
You're a role model. Feel proud.
RRgh! Why coffee such sweet love?
Coffee makes us go. In more ways than one.
ANd Beefer want to know why Santa don't stop by more often!
Santa hates you. He'd lodge a Christmas ornament in your brain if he had time.
Why Beefer feel dirty on Zelda social board all the time?
Stop paying attention to the horny preteens, and spend more time here in this topic.
:thinks about that:
Never mind. Take a shower.
---
I'm Polas .... and you're not.
Polas' Goodtime Retro Cafe: http://www.angelfire.com/ny5/polas |
| From: jukester | Posted: 4/8/2002 3:33:59 PM | Message Detail
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whats this?
jukester |
| From: SaiyanGirl | Posted: 4/8/2002 3:49:11 PM | Message Detail
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How do I convince my parents that I in fact do NOT wish to borrow $25,000 a year to go to college in New York?
Who's hotter: you or Bender?
Are you sure?
Who should I invite to my graduation with my last ticket: my uncle or my cousin?
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What the heart once had, it will never lose. |
| From: Polas | Posted: 4/8/2002 4:10:50 PM | Message Detail
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whats this? -jukester
What it is. Good old Baseball Stars logic, never lets me down.
SaiyanGirl:
How do I convince my parents that I in fact do NOT wish to borrow $25,000 a year to go to college in New York?
Tell them instead of borrowing it, you'd like it as a gift. That should sour the deal good.
Who's hotter: you or Bender?
Depends how much love or hate you have for my new haircut. However, as seen previously on my site, I can shoot radioactive green flames out of my head. Resistance is futile.
Are you sure?
Yes. Futile. :nods:
Who should I invite to my graduation with my last ticket: my uncle or my cousin?
I'd invite a random hobo from the train station, only good things can result.
---
I'm Polas .... and you're not.
Polas' Goodtime Retro Cafe: http://www.angelfire.com/ny5/polas |
| From: ScumBag | Posted: 4/8/2002 4:28:55 PM | Message Detail
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Were you born looking like a Radioactive Jesus?
How did I get this donkey?!?!?
If there was such a thing as "Pool"would you be any good at it?
I hear coffee's bad for the soul,Am I right,or am I right?
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.If you hold someone's head under water long enough.There's a point where they'll either give up and drown.Or they'll Destroy you. |
| From: SaiyanGirl | Posted: 4/8/2002 4:32:51 PM | Message Detail
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What IS your new hairdo?
Is it a mullet?
Should I fear it?
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What the heart once had, it will never lose. |
| From: RockMFR 5 | Posted: 4/8/2002 7:52:22 PM | Message Detail
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Can I be the official pimp of this topic? Pleaseeee!!!
DO YOU SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKIN'?
Whats' up wit dat?
When are you gonna review The Magic of Scherezade?
Have you started that review yet, Polas?
---
<SSBM-290> <P9-DC> <SA2B-132> <MKSCWR-2> <SA-7> <ZELDA 1-8 100%>
"Booker T: Hair done by Whoopi; Shane McMahon: Still a *****!" ~ The Rock |
| From: Alissa | Posted: 4/8/2002 9:27:00 PM | Message Detail
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Why don't I have any socks that match?
Will my car ever stop breaking down?
Why do cats have so much fur?
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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ |
| From: willis5225 | Posted: 4/8/2002 10:09:38 PM | Message Detail
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ABCDEFGHJKMNOPQRTUVXYZ
What's missing?
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O xein aggellein Lakedaiminiois oti tede
keimetha tois keinon rhemasi peithomenoi |
| From: Syrax | Posted: 4/8/2002 10:45:28 PM | Message Detail
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Why did your topic leave, anyways?
I Hate not knowing what to Hate for the current post.
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Mars should Archive this. Chikushou Ittou!
I lost my virginity. Can I have yours? |
| From: idiotbx3 | Posted: 4/8/2002 10:47:05 PM | Message Detail
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-is disney really evil?
-even aladdin?
---
"I am Error" |
| From: Polas | Posted: 4/8/2002 10:47:09 PM | Message Detail
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ScumBag:
Were you born looking like a Radioactive Jesus?
Don't think so, but I'm pretty sure I was born with shoulder-length hair. And yes, it was rather messy.
How did I get this donkey?!?!?
I'd imagine you brought Mr. Burns the head of Homer Simpson.
If there was such a thing as "Pool"would you be any good at it?
Let's just say my balls always land in the right spot.
I hear coffee's bad for the soul,Am I right,or am I right?
I'd have flunked out of college by now if it weren't for coffee, or as my late grandmother lovingly referred to it, "battery acid". Still, 3 cups a day keeps the sandman away.
SaiyanGirl:
What IS your new hairdo?
Half-mohawk into shoulder-length hair tied into a ponytail. I went from looking like a serial killer to looking like an ex-con.
Is it a mullet?
No, but it would have been if I kept going, and maybe kept more on top.
Should I fear it?
You are wise in the teachings of Dee Snider. Good girl.
RockMFR 5:
Can I be the official pimp of this topic? Pleaseeee!!!
Fine, but I get my free pick of the pack.
DO YOU SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKIN'?
Yes, I smell that he's now Hulk Hogan's *****.
Whats' up wit dat?
Hopefully a Cruiserweight Title shot.
When are you gonna review The Magic of Scherezade?
When you send me money.
Have you started that review yet, Polas?
I have started the next one. What is it? Only Timmy knows for sure.
Alissa:
Why don't I have any socks that match?
I'm torn whether to use the crappy old line "at least you have a whole other set just like them", but I'd rather refer to that episode where everyone's left sock went to another dimension. Unfortunately, I can't remember what show it is, so you're screwed.
Will my car ever stop breaking down?
Sure, if you take the bus.
Why do cats have so much fur?
Otherwise they'd be big rats with smaller ears and less rabies.
ABCDEFGHJKMNOPQRTUVXYZ
What's missing? -willis5225
From where I sit, it would seem to be Willis.
---
I'm Polas .... and you're not.
Polas' Goodtime Retro Cafe: http://www.angelfire.com/ny5/polas |
| From: Polas | Posted: 4/8/2002 10:52:11 PM | Message Detail
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Why did your topic leave, anyways? -Syrax
Too many crappy questions, it began to bore me, so I closed it. Don't let this happen again.
-is disney really evil? -idiotbx3
Yes, but not really due to the conspiracy stuff people whine about, it more has to do with what they do with ducks and mice at their freemason meetings. Plus, they don't give krosser any money.
-even aladdin? -idiotbx3
I think the Sultan is in on it, yeah.
---
I'm Polas .... and you're not.
Polas' Goodtime Retro Cafe: http://www.angelfire.com/ny5/polas |
| From: krosser | Posted: 4/8/2002 10:53:59 PM | Message Detail
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is cribbs still dead or did he rise from the dead and eat a bunch of small children
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K |
| From: Polas | Posted: 4/8/2002 11:00:45 PM | Message Detail
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is cribbs still dead or did he rise from the dead and eat a bunch of small children -krosser
I'm happy to report that Cribbs has returned from his dirt nap as good as new, and only needs to feast on the brains of the living once a week to sustain himself.
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I'm Polas .... and you're not.
Polas' Goodtime Retro Cafe: http://www.angelfire.com/ny5/polas |
| From: person4213 | Posted: 4/8/2002 11:08:39 PM | Message Detail
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How many fingers am I holding up?
Why does Vyse think I'm LikeWhoa, JJ, jukester, Bender, Polas, ZiH, and even Anarchist?
If everything in the universe moved three feet to the left, would we notice?
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The fact that my story isn't plausible just proves that it's true. |
| From: Polas | Posted: 4/8/2002 11:30:26 PM | Message Detail
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person4213:
How many fingers am I holding up?
Better idea: guess which one of my fingers I'm holding up.
Why does Vyse think I'm LikeWhoa, JJ, jukester, Bender, Polas, ZiH, and even Anarchist?
He's a troubled young buckeroo.
If everything in the universe moved three feet to the left, would we notice?
Did you feel a shake three days ago at about 10? I moved the fishbowl next to the armchair.
---
I'm Polas .... and you're not.
Polas' Goodtime Retro Cafe: http://www.angelfire.com/ny5/polas |
| From: ScumBag | Posted: 4/8/2002 11:32:13 PM | Message Detail
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Why am I soooooooo DRUNK!?!?!
Where did I come from?
Where can I find a good friend?
Do you play hoops?
Bwahahahahahaha!!!!!!
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.If you hold someone's head under water long enough.There's a point where they'll either give up and drown.Or they'll Destroy you. |
| From: Polas | Posted: 4/8/2002 11:57:46 PM | Message Detail
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ScumBag:
Why am I soooooooo DRUNK!?!?!
If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times: stop mixing happy juice with the stuff you find at the bottom of dumpster bottles.
Where did I come from?
Hopefully not me, that's already happened twice here.
Where can I find a good friend?
When everyone else is gone, ol' Jack Daniels will always be there for you.
Do you play hoops?
Getting tired of explaining this: Used up all my energy during childhood, only sports I can play now are pool and bowling. I used to play basketball, street hockey, and was actually good at baseball, now I'm a proud lump.
---
---
I'm Polas .... and you're not.
Polas' Goodtime Retro Cafe: http://www.angelfire.com/ny5/polas |
| From: ScumBag | Posted: 4/9/2002 12:09:41 AM | Message Detail
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I hear pool and bowling take no skill.Is this true?
Are Dumpster's the worst place to find grain alcohol?
My ears are hot.Why?
I can't see?
Is wrestling really only for trailer trash?(note to trailer trash,I don't like you)
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.If you hold someone's head under water long enough.There's a point where they'll either give up and drown.Or they'll Destroy you. |
| From: Polas | Posted: 4/9/2002 12:16:29 AM | Message Detail
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ScumBag
I hear pool and bowling take no skill.Is this true?
Ask Someguy if pool takes skill. As for bowling, get back to me when you can bowl a 210. Plus, I kicked AV's ass at Atari Bowling, which is as good a sign as any.
Are Dumpster's the worst place to find grain alcohol?
I'd go behind the dumpster first, actually.
My ears are hot.Why?
When the phone rings, don't pick up the iron.
I can't see?
I don't care?
Is wrestling really only for trailer trash?(note to trailer trash,I don't like you)
Obviously not, as I am probably the biggest pro wrestling connoisseur on this board, and yet I remain a refined, well-groomed New Yorker capable of deeds far exceeding the mortal realm. Plus I almost never smell bad.
---
I'm Polas .... and you're not.
Polas' Goodtime Retro Cafe: http://www.angelfire.com/ny5/polas |
| From: Alissa | Posted: 4/9/2002 12:29:05 AM | Message Detail
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i'm pretty sure the missing sock thing was from Ren & Stimpy. but seriously i think my socks have a mind of their own...
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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ |
| From: Mars | Posted: 4/9/2002 12:32:07 AM | Message Detail
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Why is Drew Barrymore such a retard?
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"I'm hungly. May I please have two beafboals?"--Selphie in the FF8 Debug Room |
| From: Polas | Posted: 4/9/2002 12:35:09 AM | Message Detail
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Why is Drew Barrymore such a retard? -Mars
Simple. Two words: Tom Green. Plus she didn't realize what Ron Howard did - sometimes, you just stop being cute.
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I'm Polas .... and you're not.
Polas' Goodtime Retro Cafe: http://www.angelfire.com/ny5/polas |
| From: scientist pg | Posted: 4/9/2002 2:26:59 AM | Message Detail
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Which Ninja Turtle is your favorite? (You can't count Slash...)
When you first played Mega Man 2, did you call Dr. Wily "Dr. Willy?" (someone here did...)
Speaking of bowling, did you play Milo's Astro Lanes for N64? (heh...)
If you did, any comments?
---
The Scientist knows best...
"It's funny how the most obvious answers are never received." -Scumbag |
| From: DarthNemo | Posted: 4/9/2002 2:40:45 AM | Message Detail
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Alissa, I stole your socks, I have a sock fetish. Yes, I'm sick like that.
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on cold lonely nights, I'll just say, "hey, Evan called me a dillhole..." and feel all warm and fuzzy inside-McGray |
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