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From: Syrax | Posted: 7/25/2002 1:20:51 AM | Message Detail

I really can't decide on who to vote for on the category of comedy mind. Ideas/Suggestions?
Why is the Soviet Mafia shooting at the guy they told me to save?
Are you gonna review 'ADVENTURE' for Atari anytime soon? That's a pretty good game there.
---
Assuming I HAVE a crotch! ~ Warlock

From: Historic Trunks | Posted: 7/25/2002 1:59:25 AM | Message Detail

I guess I'll participate in one of these...
Who hacked into my account, and changed my password...
---
Graphics-wise, the PS2 cannot quite match the GameCube(and sometimes the Dreamcast, for that matter).~Prince Trunks
"Yeah, it's kinda like that"~Sierra Mist

From: Boreas | Posted: 7/25/2002 2:03:42 AM | Message Detail

Why do I waste my time trying to make questions that will annoy Polas?
---
My sig is NORMAL! Argh!
~Juggling Joker~

From: Polas | Posted: 7/25/2002 2:17:38 AM | Message Detail

jukester:

Does Polas idolize anyone?

I wouldn't go as far to say idolize, but I suppose somewhere in that area.

If so, then who?
If not, then why?

Anyone who can entertain me to the point that their persona rubs off on mine.

If so, then why is the stretch between point A and point B covered in marmalade?

Didn't I already yell at someone for posting a similarly dumb question? I hope so.

What is Polas's IQ?

:Looks up:

We have to wait for it to come back into orbit. Maybe I'll look through that Zelda bloopers topic.

Cactus

Is it possible to achieve the speed of lint?

Sure, turn on C-Span and watch Congress in action.

Ive heard that eggplant tastes like chicken, is this so?

I hope so, 'cause it sure don't look like it.

which is better, warcraft 1, or age of empires 1, or genghis khan for the regular nintendo

Damned if I know, but regular NES always breaks a tie, so that one.

whats the best way to get donuts into my house, without actualy having to get up off my ass, drive there, get them, drive back?

Dunkindonuts.com - I know they only send coffee, but maybe if you ask really nicely.

Black Rider:

Next question is, who in your opinion was a more popular hero back in the NES days, Link or Little Mac?

Little Mac, then Link. I always liked Little Mac more. Soda Popinski most.

Historic Trunks :

I guess I'll participate in one of these...
Who hacked into my account, and changed my password...

Here in Polas' topic, we end our questions with a question mark, rather than a series of small dots.

Boreas:

Why do I waste my time trying to make questions that will annoy Polas?

Especially when some people do it oh so effortlessly.

---
Polas' Goodtime Retro Cafe: http://www.angelfire.com/ny5/polas
Latest Update: Pitfall! - http://www.angelfire.com/ny5/polas/atari/pitfall.html

From: Boreas | Posted: 7/25/2002 2:20:30 AM | Message Detail

Hmm, good point. Perhaps I should ask intelligent questions?
---
My sig is NORMAL! Argh!
~Juggling Joker~

From: Historic Trunks | Posted: 7/25/2002 2:22:18 AM | Message Detail

Who hacked into my account, and changed my password? There ya go Polas.
---
Graphics-wise, the PS2 cannot quite match the GameCube(and sometimes the Dreamcast, for that matter).~Prince Trunks
"Yeah, it's kinda like that"~Sierra Mist

From: jukester | Posted: 7/25/2002 10:32:11 PM | Message Detail

Is milk good for me?

jukester

From: Habnot | Posted: 7/25/2002 10:42:54 PM | Message Detail

Does Polas like the song,"Paint it Black" by the Rolling Stones?
---
United the nOObs Stand!!!~Link2001

From: Draco NOT | Posted: 7/25/2002 10:45:18 PM | Message Detail

...?!
---
Darwin awards:commemorating those who guarantee survival,by removing them selves from the gene pool in an idiotic,sublime fashion.<zelda master member

From: idiotbx3 | Posted: 7/25/2002 10:59:49 PM | Message Detail

do you know of any handheld game that has to do with wizards er somethin?
---
"pixie lover!"

From: Polas | Posted: 7/25/2002 11:40:16 PM | Message Detail

Boreas:

Hmm, good point. Perhaps I should ask intelligent questions?

Eh, fine, as long as you're not expecting intelligent answers.

Historic Trunks:

Who hacked into my account, and changed my password? There ya go Polas.

It was Santa Claus. He does that now. Lumps of coal are so 20th century.

jukester: Suspended from Q&A With Polas for his absolutely boneheaded move of giving my screen name to someone who IM'ed me as soon as I got on saying "asl" over and over.

Habnot:

Does Polas like the song,"Paint it Black" by the Rolling Stones?

I love it, it's my favorite Stones song, and one of my favorites overall.

idiotbx3:

do you know of any handheld game that has to do with wizards er somethin?

Yes. Most of them. Now give me my Constantinople.

---
Polas' Goodtime Retro Cafe: http://www.angelfire.com/ny5/polas
Latest Update: Pitfall! - http://www.angelfire.com/ny5/polas/atari/pitfall.html

From: Historic Trunks | Posted: 7/25/2002 11:59:42 PM | Message Detail

What's the deal with corn nuts?

Is it corn, or is it a nut?
---
Graphics-wise, the PS2 cannot quite match the GameCube(and sometimes the Dreamcast, for that matter).~Prince Trunks
"Yeah, it's kinda like that"~Sierra Mist

From: Warlock210 | Posted: 7/26/2002 12:06:54 AM | Message Detail

Does Polas approve of how Warlock portrayed him in his Alternate X topic?

Does Polas approve of the topic, period?

Do you want a cool lackey?
---
Can't you see? I can't be beat. Man, I always win the race.
You wanna come and take on me? You best get used to second place.~Warlock TooTen

From: Son Raditz II | Posted: 7/26/2002 12:23:27 AM | Message Detail

Who is the best female American Gladiator?

Who is the best male American Gladiator?

---
~~#======> Second in Command of the Kids in Kokiri<~~~~~~~(|| [ }

From: Polas | Posted: 7/26/2002 11:55:20 PM | Message Detail

Historic Trunks:

What's the deal with corn nuts?

Is it corn, or is it a nut?

On the 1-10 scale of Seinfeld: 6.

Warlock210:

Does Polas approve of how Warlock portrayed him in his Alternate X topic?

....buh?

Does Polas approve of the topic, period?

....juh?

Do you want a cool lackey?

Maybe, I sure could use someone to track down the links to these topics people ask me about, assuming I've seen and/or read them.

Son Raditz II:

Who is the best female American Gladiator?

Who is the best male American Gladiator?

Nitro and Sky. The best contestant? Tie between RICO and URKEL.

---
Polas' Goodtime Retro Cafe: http://www.angelfire.com/ny5/polas
Latest Update: Pitfall! - http://www.angelfire.com/ny5/polas/atari/pitfall.html

From: Kiss of the Dragon | Posted: 7/26/2002 11:58:13 PM | Message Detail

Polas, can I be your lackey? I won't ask for pay. (like you would pay anyway)
---
The Leader of The Temple of Time Force
~Juggling Joker~

From: Fry Head | Posted: 7/27/2002 6:14:10 AM | Message Detail

Do you know the meaning of why saying the Zeeky words causes a nuclear explosion?

Do you there's going to be a Kamikaze Watermelon? *kamikaze watermelon flies by*

Do you think any second, someone's going to come into this topic and say Zeegy Boogy Doog?

Is your head about to pop off?
---
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/demented.html A MUST SEE!!!!!

From: CNW101 | Posted: 7/27/2002 6:18:28 AM | Message Detail

What day of the week will the world end on?
---
Shut up ZGE Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.

From: Historic Trunks | Posted: 7/27/2002 3:21:54 PM | Message Detail

Zeegy Boogy...nevermind

oh yeah, when will the money stop going in the toliet!?

*points to ad banner above on my browser*
---
Graphics-wise, the PS2 cannot quite match the GameCube(and sometimes the Dreamcast, for that matter).~Prince Trunks
"Yeah, it's kinda like that"~Sierra Mist

From: Son Raditz II | Posted: 7/27/2002 3:23:54 PM | Message Detail

Why did you answer a question I didn't even ask?
---
~~#======> Second in Command of the Kids in Kokiri<~~~~~~~(|| [ }

From: JustAGirl | Posted: 7/28/2002 12:21:36 AM | Message Detail

Do you remember the good old days when we did that house thingy where it was me, you, SaiyanGirl, and some other d00d paired up? Yeah, that was fun.
---
I like it when people quote themselves. - Me
~Juggling Joker~

From: idiotbx3 | Posted: 7/28/2002 12:45:32 AM | Message Detail

why is three the magic number?
---
"pixie lover!"

From: Polas | Posted: 7/28/2002 10:31:41 AM | Message Detail

Kiss of the Dragon:

Polas, can I be your lackey? I won't ask for pay. (like you would pay anyway)

You do realize that one prerequisite for becoming a Polas lackey is to make one of those silly "All Hail Polas" topics, which prompts 7 people to IM and ask "y r u so loved?!?!111". It's both funny and annoying, and that's hard to do.

Do you remember the good old days when we did that house thingy where it was me, you, SaiyanGirl, and some other d00d paired up? Yeah, that was fun.

Yes, we'll never forget the carpets and waterbeds.

Fry Head:

Do you know the meaning of why saying the Zeeky words causes a nuclear explosion?

Jiminy jilikers, it's the stupid question alarm! On your guard, men!

Do you there's going to be a Kamikaze Watermelon? *kamikaze watermelon flies by*

Yep, that alarm was worth every cent I paid for it. Which was nothing, but eh, at least it worked.

Do you think any second, someone's going to come into this topic and say Zeegy Boogy Doog?

Code red! Question stupidity levels dangerously high! Go to Defcon 4!

Is your head about to pop off?

No, but ask 5 next time, you may get your wish.

CNW101:

What day of the week will the world end on?

Doomsday. Which will also probably fall on Polas Day.

Historic Trunks:

oh yeah, when will the money stop going in the toliet!?

*points to ad banner above on my browser*

:Points to convieniently placed "you got hosed" sign:

Son Raditz II:

Why did you answer a question I didn't even ask?

Somebody has to try and make these questions entertaining. Even if that answer didn't make sense to anyone else, it sure worked for me.

idiotbx3:

why is three the magic number?

I explained this on my site like, MONTHS ago.
---
Polas' Goodtime Retro Cafe: http://www.angelfire.com/ny5/polas
Latest Update: Pitfall! - http://www.angelfire.com/ny5/polas/atari/pitfall.html

From: Sea Bass | Posted: 7/29/2002 4:40:19 AM | Message Detail

Yes, I remember the magic number thing, and BuMp, but not to break the rules I must ask a question...

Can you say something that would be sig worthy?
Now can you say it?
---
I’m not ***. I know, being *** isnt a bad thing. I like girls better than boys. DKS
HEY YOU ****OFF WITH YOUR OWN HAND DONT U? Brian

From: Prince Trunks | Posted: 7/29/2002 4:55:51 AM | Message Detail

Does anyone still think I'm Son Raditz II?
---
You may cut me with your eyes. You may shoot me with your words. You may kill me with your hatefullness. But still, like air, I'll rise.

From: DarthNemo | Posted: 7/29/2002 4:56:46 AM | Message Detail

People still think im Objective Chrome
---
I'm like a tank. I don't get there fast, but I get there. - McGray

From: Polas | Posted: 7/29/2002 3:05:40 PM | Message Detail

Sea Bass:

Can you say something that would be sig worthy?
Now can you say it?

Yes, I can. And yes, I can.

Prince Trunks:

Does anyone still think I'm Son Raditz II?

They'd better not, or someone will bring back that stupid topic where everyone pretends to be someone else ... oh bother.

---
Polas' Goodtime Retro Cafe: http://www.angelfire.com/ny5/polas
Latest Update: Pitfall! - http://www.angelfire.com/ny5/polas/atari/pitfall.html

From: willis5225 | Posted: 7/29/2002 5:33:55 PM | Message Detail

Is Polas any good for giving romantic advice to semi-dorks? (Y'know... people like me who'll admit that we need advice and that we're dorks, but use words like "quasi" so we don't sound so lame) Because he seems right now to be about as good a source as anyone else I know.
---
Mass Willis = Instant Win

From: Jacehan | Posted: 7/29/2002 5:33:58 PM | Message Detail

D'ya mind if I borrow your Mystery COntest idea?
---
People say we're more civilized than animals, but you don't see gorillas walking around the rainforest blowing themselves up.
--Matt Orlando

From: Methodus | Posted: 7/29/2002 5:35:00 PM | Message Detail

What do you think of Antallic?
---
I am Antallic "Now let's see that joke ****" - Will Smith - Bad Boys"Which thing, the first thing or the second thing?- Billy Crystal - Analyze This

From: idiotbx3 | Posted: 7/30/2002 12:34:32 AM | Message Detail

eh, so i fergot.

-oh yeah, is it worth reservin the GCN zelda now rather than, lets say, 2 months before it comes out?

-can i have some money again?
---
"pixie lover!"

From: ScumBag | Posted: 7/30/2002 7:28:31 AM | Message Detail

Polas you crack monger!You master of love.

Since I'm all bi-sexual.....and we all know what you are::wink,wink::,would you say Fragon was cute?

I'm taking a Drive down to long island again,shall I visit?

Where can I find a pair of toasty mittens in this season?

(lusts after,Polas' website)
What is taking you so long with your site updates?
(loves,Polas' web site)
---
If you hold someone's head under water long enough.There's a point where they'll either give up and drown.Or they'll Destroy you.

From: Polas | Posted: 7/30/2002 2:18:51 PM | Message Detail

willis5225:

Is Polas any good for giving romantic advice to semi-dorks? (Y'know... people like me who'll admit that we need advice and that we're dorks, but use words like "quasi" so we don't sound so lame) Because he seems right now to be about as good a source as anyone else I know.

1) Be funny.
2) Not "dumbass" funny, the good funny where she's laughing with you.
3) Pay more attention to her than the movie (if applicable), even if the movie is much more interesting.
4) If you plan on seeing her again, wrap it up.

Those are probably the most important, let me know if you need more.

Jacehan:

D'ya mind if I borrow your Mystery COntest idea?

Yes. So do it far away from here and never mention it again, or mockery of said copied idea will likely occur.

Methodus:

What do you think of Antallic?

Not much. :rim shot:

idiotbx3:

-oh yeah, is it worth reservin the GCN zelda now rather than, lets say, 2 months before it comes out?

I haven't reserved a game in years, and almost every time I was able to walk in and buy it the day it came out. Systems are a different story. What I'll likely do is order it online.

-can i have some money again?

Again? Is there something you're not telling me?

ScumBag:

Polas you crack monger!You master of love.

It's all true.

Since I'm all bi-sexual.....and we all know what you are::wink,wink::,would you say Fragon was cute?

Subtlety is not your strong point; "threesome" is written all over your forehead.

I'm taking a Drive down to long island again,shall I visit?

Yes. Bring alcoholic offerings, and you will be allowed to sleep on my inflatable sofa.

Where can I find a pair of toasty mittens in this season?

The Australians, as their winters are our summers, and dinosaurs roam freely over the plains.

(lusts after,Polas' website)
What is taking you so long with your site updates?
(loves,Polas' web site)

If you think you can play through these games, get, organize, and edit 50-200 screenshots, write a bunch of hilarious paragraphs, and bring it all together HTML style quicker than I can at an equal or greater quality, I invite you to try. Until then, you're just going to have to wank to the old reviews until a new one takes you to nirvana and back.

---
Polas' Goodtime Retro Cafe: http://www.angelfire.com/ny5/polas
Latest Update: Pitfall! - http://www.angelfire.com/ny5/polas/atari/pitfall.html

From: Renegade Angel | Posted: 7/30/2002 4:47:17 PM | Message Detail

SPOILERS(I guess)
-
-
-
In Eternal Darkness, how do I beat the monster running around the basement in the Edward Roivas chapter?
I'm on the Xel'otauth(sp? path.
---
You don't understand my power
«�-I am the insane god of insanity!-�»

From: PnkPanther9 | Posted: 7/30/2002 4:52:38 PM | Message Detail

If you had to fight one, which would you prefer?

a. the dragon?

b. the vampire? (better hope its a female)
---
"I will rule the world and make it my litter box! BWA HA HA HA!!" - a cat "...Fur Ball you've been sniffing the catnip again haven't you?" - me

From: Polas | Posted: 7/30/2002 4:59:48 PM | Message Detail

Renegade Angel:

SPOILERS(I guess)
-
-
-
In Eternal Darkness, how do I beat the monster running around the basement in the Edward Roivas chapter?
I'm on the Xel'otauth(sp? path.

You check a FAQ, but I'm in a good mood, so I'll help you out. You track it down to whatever room it goes into (kill it fast to get rewards from the servants), until it finally runs to the basement. Use Enchant Item to fix the key, then go to the basement. First, destroy the rune in the well (Use your strongest gun until you can get up close and use the sword) that it sucks power from, that'll keep it from recharging. Then you can kill it with any weapon, I prefer the sword.

PnkPanther9:

If you had to fight one, which would you prefer?

a. the dragon?

b. the vampire? (better hope its a female)

Yeah, the female vampire. Hopefully it'll be the B-movie kind that sucks more than your blood. Growl.

---
Polas' Goodtime Retro Cafe: http://www.angelfire.com/ny5/polas
Latest Update: Pitfall! - http://www.angelfire.com/ny5/polas/atari/pitfall.html

From: Renegade Angel | Posted: 7/31/2002 1:27:20 PM | Message Detail

Spoilers(again)
-
-
-
In the Fireman chapter(of Eternal Darkness) I've got the plastic explosives and the enchanted Gladius, but there seems to be nowhere else to go. What do I do?
(yeah, I should go to the FAQs but Polas is so nice)

---
To see throught the eyes of the dead is to become them- Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem

From: Polas | Posted: 7/31/2002 1:37:53 PM | Message Detail

Renegade Angel:

Spoilers(again)
-
-
-
In the Fireman chapter(of Eternal Darkness) I've got the plastic explosives and the enchanted Gladius, but there seems to be nowhere else to go. What do I do?
(yeah, I should go to the FAQs but Polas is so nice)

My good mood has continued, lucky you. The enchanted Gladius doesn't do anything for Michael, it comes in handy later though. You need both the explosives and the detonator caps in order to form the C4 Bomb. I forget which is where, but one of them is in the hand of a dead guy that's laying in front of the tunnel with the zappy floor, the other is protected by two Horrors that generate a force field, you need to use a 7-point Bind on one of them, then kill the other. Once you form the Bomb, go to the giant worm pit, 7-point Enchant Item on the bomb, the rest should be clear.
---
Polas' Goodtime Retro Cafe: http://www.angelfire.com/ny5/polas
Latest Update: Pitfall! - http://www.angelfire.com/ny5/polas/atari/pitfall.html

From: Renegade Angel | Posted: 7/31/2002 1:40:42 PM | Message Detail

Oops thats another thing.
How do you get into the zappy tunnel?It is the place that has a weird door mark by the paintings room, right?
---
To see throught the eyes of the dead is to become them- Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem

From: Polas | Posted: 7/31/2002 1:45:42 PM | Message Detail

Renegade Angel:

Oops thats another thing.
How do you get into the zappy tunnel?It is the place that has a weird door mark by the paintings room, right?

Sounds right to me. I'd also like to point out that games are the most fun when you figure these things out yourself.
---
Polas' Goodtime Retro Cafe: http://www.angelfire.com/ny5/polas
Latest Update: Pitfall! - http://www.angelfire.com/ny5/polas/atari/pitfall.html

From: Renegade Angel | Posted: 7/31/2002 1:47:34 PM | Message Detail

Yeah, I tried blowing it up, hitting it with an axe, but...
Hey! I never tried a reveal invisible spell...
Okay, I'll go now.
---
To see through the eyes of the dead is to become them- Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem

From: CNW101 | Posted: 7/31/2002 1:49:30 PM | Message Detail

Polas, what is your religion? (if this has been asked before, I apologize)
---
Shut up ZGE Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.

From: Polas | Posted: 7/31/2002 2:09:30 PM | Message Detail

CNW101:

Polas, what is your religion? (if this has been asked before, I apologize)

I believe in a hybrid of religions. I think that the basic messages of Christianity are sound, it's just the interpretations that range from off base, to wrong, to ridiculous. I've always thought the church was a sham, and have recently been proven right. I also believe in some sort of God/higher being, until someone comes up with a better explanation of the origin of all that is and has ever been.

Of course, on this board, on this name, the only religion is Polasity.
---
Polas' Goodtime Retro Cafe: http://www.angelfire.com/ny5/polas
Latest Update: Pitfall! - http://www.angelfire.com/ny5/polas/atari/pitfall.html

From: Donkey Kong Song III | Posted: 7/31/2002 4:38:30 PM | Message Detail

I know that Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, how many pickled peppers Peter Piper picked, and where the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked is, but WHY did Peter Piper pick a peck of pickled peppers?
---
"Nothing from you, thanks.
You've probably pissed in it."~luciferchan

From: Renegade Angel | Posted: 7/31/2002 7:31:22 PM | Message Detail

I finally beat Eternal Darkness!! WOO!!!
Wait...
I have to beat it two more times?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Chatturgha is gonna get his ass kicked.
---
To see through the eyes of the dead is to become them- Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem

From: PDZero | Posted: 7/31/2002 8:07:01 PM | Message Detail

Why does Diet Dr Pepper taste like the orginal Dr Pepper ?

---
Mission Failed.. You Loose!

From: Polas | Posted: 7/31/2002 10:04:47 PM | Message Detail

Donkey Kong Song III:

I know that Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, how many pickled peppers Peter Piper picked, and where the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked is, but WHY did Peter Piper pick a peck of pickled peppers?

It's not fun anymore, now that my belief has been confirmed. But eh, why not: it was the only way he could become as famous as his tougher brother Roddy.

Renegade Angel: Don't post non-question crap in my topic.

PDZero:

Why does Diet Dr Pepper taste like the orginal Dr Pepper ?

It does? That's the first diet soda I know of that tastes like the original.

---
Polas' Goodtime Retro Cafe: http://www.angelfire.com/ny5/polas
Latest Update: Pitfall! - http://www.angelfire.com/ny5/polas/atari/pitfall.html

From: Platinum Shiek | Posted: 7/31/2002 10:15:02 PM | Message Detail

You responded earlier by saying that in order to be a Polas lackey, I needed to make a topic praising Polas. Also, as a direct result of this topic, hordes of n00bs would IM you with stupid questions. To the best of my knowledge, I have done this. NOW can I be a Polas lackey?

Are you still peeved about that incident the other night?
---
"It comes!"~Auron ~Final Fantasy X~
Dark Flaring Leader of the Birds of Prey!

From: Polas | Posted: 7/31/2002 10:47:20 PM | Message Detail

Platinum Shiek:

You responded earlier by saying that in order to be a Polas lackey, I needed to make a topic praising Polas. Also, as a direct result of this topic, hordes of n00bs would IM you with stupid questions. To the best of my knowledge, I have done this. NOW can I be a Polas lackey?

Yeah, knock yourself out, a turkey sandwich would be nice. And no Zombie Turkey, I don't want to turn into a turkey myself, and if it's dry, Karnov help you.

Are you still peeved about that incident the other night?

What? If it's something I yelled at you for, called you stupid, banned you from a topic of mine, etc. I do that all the time and forget about it shortly after. If it's something else, then still no; nothing legitimately pisses me off. Maybe.
---
Polas' Goodtime Retro Cafe: http://www.angelfire.com/ny5/polas
Latest Update: Pitfall! - http://www.angelfire.com/ny5/polas/atari/pitfall.html

From: Platinum Shiek | Posted: 7/31/2002 11:42:55 PM | Message Detail

Well, it wasn't really me you yelled at, but I still was involved. But you have to admit, that was pretty damn funny. Am I right?
---
"It comes!"~Auron ~Final Fantasy X~
Dark Flaring Leader of the Birds of Prey!

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