Poor Monica!

>_>
---
Ðøç+ø® Þh¡£ {Ū}
I will never arm wrestle Arnold Schwarzenegger. -George W. Bush

Bump, school has started, less internet time.

jukester

After a week being stranded, Bender and Airforce constantly search for nourishment and fresh water.

Bender- ...urh...h..g.h...
Airforce- ..a...r....
Bender- What the hell is that...?
Airforce- ..ar....?

Bender sees a boat heading his way. On the boat, QoL and HoT voyage across the Sea of Mars.

QoL- Hmm.. we're out of Coconut Chewies. We should get more.
HoT- Fair enough. They're delectable, by the way.
QoL- Indeed.

They pull ashore to find a raggedy man and a seal.

AV- Dammit, send your men to Bregenek ASAP!

The others in the room nod. They leave leaving Sci and AV alone.

Sci- Do you think this will prevent DL's schemes?
AV- No. Honestly, those men couldn't stop a turtle on its back.
Sci- Hmph.
AV- Want a Beany Bite?
Sci- No.
AV- Yeah, neither do I.

jukester

Sea of Mars, heh.
---
Ðøç+ø® Þh¡£ {Ū}
I will never arm wrestle Arnold Schwarzenegger. -George W. Bush

ZiH sits down in his living room.

DL- ..****.. **** **** ****!!!
ZiH- What.
DL- My crystal... where is it?!?
Quark- !! I see @@@ The future@@@ and the past~~~
DL- ..So then who took my crystal!
Quark- Allow me ~~ To go back !!~ and find out @@@

She places her fingers on her temples and closes her eyes.

Quark- Oh,... a foreigner and a rogue took ~~ it.
DL- That Screen name guy and the **** he came in with!
ZiH- Most likely.
DL- We must find them.
ZiH- I've got crossbows.
DL- Lovely.

jukester

HoT- Err.. who are you?
Bender- I'm.. wait, you aren't evil sea pirates looking for a hole to love?
HoT- ...No...
Bender- Oh, then my name is Bender, this is my pet seal, Airforce. Say hi to the evil pirates, Airforce.
Airforce- Ar ar!
QoL- Yeah let's get dem coconuts and split.
Bender- Wait! Can you take us with you?

HoT and QoL glance at each other.

HoT- Er... maybe?
Bender- We need to get off this god-forsaken island.
HoT- But there are coconuts and naked women here.
Bender- PLEASE!
HoT- If you insist.

They get coconuts and get on board.

Airforce- Ar!

Frank and Narle enter the back of the bar. They walk through a dimly lit room full of alcohol. Frank takes a bottle and chugs it.

Narle- What are you doing???!
Frank- Free alcohol, man!
Narle- Idiot!

They argue some more until a bartend checks the noise. Frank sees the bartend and chucks the bottle at the bartend's forehead. Narle puts on the bartend's clothing.

Narle- Makes me feel feminine.
Frank- That's because it's female's clothing.
Narle- And there's a naked young woman on the floor.
Frank- Dibs on first!
Narle- No! You had first LAST rape!

jukester

Now that's quality.
---
I must've kicked more guys in the nuts than I realized.~JJ

McGray- This is damn good waiter clothing, but we have to get moving!
Tediz- Yessah!

They peek out of the doorway to see Narle and Frank in their positions and Cub at the entrance. They nod to them and walk out without notice. Frank sits at the bar while Narle poses as the bartend. Frank orders a drink as they casually wait.

Warlock- So where is this place we're going?
Duel- Lajuenesse!!! Yay!
Warlock- Why are you so excited about that?
Duel- I was born there!
Warlock- Explains a lot, everyone there are sluts and hoes.
Duel- Hey! My mommy was a "Business major" so nyah!
Warlock- Hey whatever, man.
Duel- How do you know about Lajuenesse anyway?

They stop on the road they're walking on. Warlock looks around.

Warlock- Well... I... my..
Duel- Thpit it out thilly!
Warlock- My girlfriend was from there.
Duel- Ewwww!!! GIRLS! ...So what happened with ... her?
Warlock- Well I found out she was from there and I was forced to shove a fake ***** in her ******.
Duel- EEWWWWWW!!!

jukester

*jumps into the picture*
---
Pour salt in your eyes.

Duel- Ewwww!!! GIRLS!

I demand that at least 5 people post saying how funny that is.
---
I must've kicked more guys in the nuts than I realized.~JJ

Ganondork and Suicune travel to Lasly.

Suicune- Might I ask what happened?
Ganondork- What happened with me??!? You ran off with that tosser and didn't knick'm!
Suicune- Tosser? Eh, you'd know about those wouldn't you, your father was a traitorous bastard!
Ganondork- Eh! Don'tchoo talk about me pops like that! I know the truth and he had his bits and pieces safe and sound, might I add!
Suicune- Had he not salted his bits and milked his pieces this whole thing hadn't have kinged the whole town!
Ganondork- He was a shanty. A shanty.
Suicune- Shanty? Hah! We all know he made that one up, eh. 'Cept for you, of course.
Ganondork- Glad to make you laugh, eh.
Suicune- So how far is this knack of a job, eh?
Ganondork- Double.
Suicune- Bloody hell.

jukester

British talk is funny.
---
"The ZSB: We Are So Much Better Than You."

Weirdly, some of those are real, or at least I heard them on British Whose Line?
---
I was gone for months and I never felt the need to make topics like this.~Astral Regulus
[aX]

English, please.
---
"So, according to that logic, if I got some overalls and set someone on fire, Mario would be to blame."
No, you'd just be from Arkansas. ~ Element05

I can translate about 2/3 of that, I'm not as British as I thought
---
http://www.angelfire.com/psy/faqs/~A GameFaqs photo site
If looks can kill, why aren't you dead yet?

McGray moves in to FC.

McGray- Aha! There you are, you scoundral!
FC- Greetings, my friend. Have a seat.
McGray- Nevah! I'm here to ... uhh... crap what am I here to do...
FC- Hah. Idiot. Find someone of appropriate stature to waste your time with.
McGray- Bu... you're doing evil thingies!
FC- Away with you.

McGray drops his head and walks back to the bar where Tediz awaits with the others. Cub makes his way over.

Tediz- What's wrong?
McGray- Are we here to kill her or capture her?
Cub- Either.
Frank- Kill her!
Narle- Shut up, fool. We should capture her and imprison her.
McGray- That will be hard.
Narle- She's alone.
McGray- Silence, you.

Narle frowns and drops his head.

McGray- Ok, Frank, you try and sneak up behind her.
Frank- Yay!

He gets up and runs towards FC tripping over various furniture pieces and breaking things making a scene.

McGray- Damn that idiot.
Narle- We've tried.

jukester

Bender- So where ya headed, sailor?
HoT- Ermm well, we're hea-
Bender- I always wanted to call someone a sailor. So I figured since "Hey, I'm on a boat, there's a guy on a boat, he must be a sailor" I could call you a sailor.
HoT- Uhh qui-
Bender- But then again, you might be pirates, and you might make me walk the plank for calling you sailors.
HoT- Oh, no w-
Bender- I just gotta learn to keep my mouth shut.
HoT- ...
Bender- ...
HoT- Well I gue-
Bender- I wonder if I'm doing a good job so far. Maybe I could get a cookie for my hard laboring.

QoL cracks his knuckles.

Alissa and Syrax sit in their boat.

Alissa- Geez it's been a while. Maybe we should sail into the sea to look for Bender and Airforce.
Syrax- WHY!!!
Alissa- Because it's been like, two weeks.
Syrax- NOO!
Alissa- Well, let's sail that way.
Syrax- NO!! THE OTHER WAY!
Alissa- If you insist.

They sail their boat south east.

jukester

I need to reappear in this story.
---
"I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way."- Hong Kong kung-fu movie.

I'm bored. You got lucky, FFVIIMAN.

FFVII- Why?
BO- I said so, infidel!
FFVII- Don't you infidel castrate me!
BO- What about the penguins?
FFVII- Screw them!
BO- I leave that to the penguin screwers, thank you very much.
FFVII- Schmilly.

An hour passes.

FFVII- Hey remember that thing we found that no one has ever seen before?
BO- Your-
FFVII- NOT MY DICK!
BO- I was gonna say that thing you found in that cave.
FFVII- I hate you.
BO- You... hate me?
FFVII- Yes.
BO- Why?
FFVII- Wanna go find it?
BO- Yesh.
FFVII- Grab your mittens.
BO- Are we going back in time again?
FFVII- I told you, the Time Back Machine Carbonator only works on Tuesdays!
BO- Today IS Tuesday.
FFVII- Idiot! It's Monday.
BO- Oh. Well I better go collect my rent check.
FFVII- You mean pay the rent check?
BO- We live in a cave.

jukester

Lol!
---
A deep thought: #100: If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let 'em go, because, man, they're gone.

What happened to Mac, screen name, and the cross dresser?

Oh yeah, and it's great, by the way.

---
Dammit Mac, you make everything I say sound better and sexier! - jukester
SPOOKAY!™, it's MacDaddy Mike!

yay.
---
"I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way."- Hong Kong kung-fu movie.

yippe!
---
"screen name, you had a sadistic look on your face. As Alissa put it, you looked like you were going to go steal candy from some little children"~Duel

BO- What about the penguins?
FFVII- Screw them!
BO- I leave that to the penguin screwers, thank you very much.
FFVII- Schmilly.

We have a new classic comedic duo.

---
"You do not know, my son, with how little wisdom the world is governed." ~ Axel Oxenstierna {åß}

Mac- Alright, kid. Let's get out of this city, and fast.
SN- Yes. Well, that was an alright earnings, right?
Mac- Could've been better.

They walk out to the city's limits near ZiH's mansion. They run past it to get out of town. Just then, the door busts down and ZiH and DL, armed with crossbows, appear.

DL- MMmmmm... the game is fresh, isn't it?
ZiH- Oh it is indeed. Yonder! I see some prey!
DL- Good call, ZiH! Onward, we chase!

They jump down the front staircase of the mansion and aim at Mac and SN who run through the shrubbery hoping to hide themselves.

DL- Hmm.. we need to find a nice place to hit them.
ZiH- Indeed.

They run to the side to see Mac and SN better.

Mac- Crap, I lost them. Where'd they go?
SN- I dunno. But we need to get somewhere quick.
Mac- Think we could make it to an armory fast enough to get shields and crossbows?
SN- Maybe.
Mac- Let's go for it.

They make a burst for Bregenek.

jukester

Coolguy stands in front of his militia.

Coolguy- Alright men! We're heading to Bregenek for confidential matters. But I assure you it's worth the incredibly long walk. Now then, we leave tonight.

He walks off the stage with many murmurs and cursing.

Monica and the Canadian walk from Parallo to Bregenek.

Monica- Sigh...
Canadian- I can dance, y'know!
Monica- I don't care, frankly. But we need to find McGray.
Canadian- Yeah, well, I figure he's out there somewhere doing something, eh.
Monica- Yeah, geez.. it's getting cold.
Canadian- If that isn't an invitation to use my busy hands, then I don't know what is!

He puts his arm around her.

Monica- OH MY! You smell... foreign!
Canadian- Aye, must be the foreigness. Forgive me.
Monica- Er... ok.
Canadian- Bregenek isn't too far away, eh.
Monica- Yeah. ... Hey... do you see that?
Canadian- Someone's running, two people.. no wait, four.
Monica- This looks like trouble.
Canadian- Oh yes...
Monica- And a job for.......

Monica puts on her mask and cape and other things that fit tightly.

Monica- The Terror that corrects the errors!

She jumps to a tree and disappears.

Canadian- Eh! We can't have a lone Canadian in the wilderness. Oh wait, that's... normal.

jukester

Haha.
---
Ðøç+ø® Þh¡£ {Ū}
"I... give... lap dance[s]." ~Duel

This sitcom rocks. Bump.
---
All of my teachers decided my combination should be 6-6-6. They must think I'm a nice student. -LikeWhoa(Ū)

Damn you, stay up.
---
"The ZSB: We Are So Much Better Than You."

Keep that sort of thing to yourself, Tediz.

jukester

>_>
---
"The ZSB: We Are So Much Better Than You."

[This message was deleted at the request of the original poster]

NOTE: FFVIIMAN will now be refered to as Scott (His first name) since I find that a LOT easier to type out.

BO- So where we going?
Scott- Where's the map?
BO- What map?
Scott- THE map.
BO- We have a map?
Scott- Doesn't it have things on it?
BO- What does?
Scott- The map!
BO- Oh. Here it is.

BO takes out the map and hands it to Scott.

Scott- That way!
BO- We came from that way.
Scott- ... NORTH!
BO- We came from north.
Scott- Home!
BO- That happens to be north.
Scott- Where are we going?
BO- To find that thing?
Scott- I told you, IT'S REAL! DO I HAVE TO SHOW YOU!
BO- Will it hurt?
Scott- ...Yes....
BO- Then count me in.

Krosser- i am waeting
Mars- Hold on hold on!
Jeaton- It doesn't have to be in for that long.
Mars- Hush!
Krosser- i am waeting
Mars- Geez! Let them simmer...
Polas- Polas wants his chicken ramen.

Duel- We're almost there!
Warlock- Just in time, too. It's getting frigid.
Duel- Yes! My pecks are hard!
Warlock- Silly boy, you don't have pecks!
Duel- Yuh huh!

Duel takes off his shirt.

Warlock- ...

Warlock tries to not think sexy thoughts.

Warlock- Whoooooooooooa tabbernack.

Duel winks.

jukester

Fishy, that probably wouldn't fit anyway.

jukester

Heh. Bump.
---
All of my teachers decided my combination should be 6-6-6. They must think I'm a nice student. -LikeWhoa(Ū)

If we can't go north, can we at least go the opposite of south ;_; BO is mean.
---
"I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way."- Hong Kong kung-fu movie.

Ganondork- Oy, Lasly's yonder.
Suicune- We'll make it before the sun sets.
Ganondork- Quite.
Suicune- I wonder if he made good of the time he had, eh?
Ganondork- I bet he had a jolly time off from work, eh.
Suicune- The bloody hell would he have a time? He's got crystals to save! Has he gone left and right?
Ganondork- Lenny penny.
Suicune- Oy.

They enter the streets of Lasly. They look around at some of the shops, cafes and inns.

Suicune- Blimey, where'd he be?
Ganondork- I'd ponder yonder.
Suicune- Attabe, Ganondork.

Mac- Keep running, boy!
SN- Eeh! Eeh! EHH!

SN tires and starts to lag. Mac turns back to see this.

Mac- Boy!

Mac grabs SN and puts him over his shoulders, leaving SN an easier target.

Mac- You better not get shot.
SN- Eh...
ZiH- Aha! This makes it muuuuuch easier.
DL- Oh yes...

They take aim.

jukester

Damn how I wish I was in this story...ah well. Keep it up jukes. This topic is so frickin' hilarious. Bump.
---
Funny better be sad somewhere. -Jerry Lewis

Shoot him! Shoot him!
---
A deep thought: #100: If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let 'em go, because, man, they're gone.

I should go Super Saiyajin.

---
The ZSB: These sigs are just overdone now

We cant have the rest of this topic devoted to you, Bender.

Oh, and this is another one of those, "Funny sitcom, jukester" posts.
---
"I mean, seriously, if you can't think of anything else other than that, then I truly pity you." -ZiH on overusing the word 'hypocrite.'

This is an asinine topic!
---
Give it away, give it away, give it away now!

this doesnt sound like me, i'm a great runner, i'm even on the cross country team!
---
"screen name, you had a sadistic look on your face. As Alissa put it, you looked like you were going to go steal candy from some little children"~Duel

Screen Name's gonna die.
---
All of my teachers decided my combination should be 6-6-6. They must think I'm a nice student. -LikeWhoa(Ū)

hey, i don't need to here that, *knows his fate in the story will be death* Nooooooooooooooooooooo!
---
"screen name, you had a sadistic look on your face. As Alissa put it, you looked like you were going to go steal candy from some little children"~Duel

DL and ZiH simultaneously fire at SN's head and stomach. Just then, out of nowhere, or a tree, MysterMask appears and kicks away the arrows then does a flying kick into ZiH an DL's chests.

MysterMask- None of this killing! That boy has done nothing!
DL- *****! You know nothing!
ZiH- Who.. the hell?

As DL and ZiH reload their crossbows, MysterMask disappears like she appeared. A tree.

Bender- Yo ho ho!
HoT- Umm.. we aren't pirates.
Airforce- ARRR?!
HoT- Hush, fiend.
Airforce- Oh...
Bender- Well what are you?
HoT- We're just part of a group that's looking for a friend who's gone missing.
Bender- Ah yes, I have a friend.
QoL- I'm sure you do, buddy.
HoT- Hey! We're nearly here.
Bender- Yayz0r!
HoT- ...z0r?
Bender- What?

jukester

I think the convo between gdork and suicune were stemming on things that a pirate would say, and not a brit.
---
"Video games don't make people more violent, and I'll kill anyone who disagrees."~~Gord from www.actsofgord.com

Did I forget that I'm a pirate? And did juke forget that my original request was to, in fact, be a NINJA pirate? Because, you know, Ninja Pirates rock.

---
The ZSB: These sigs are just overdone now

You were never a pirate. Just a wannabe pirate with a bad accent.

jukester

Nice. But: After a "flying kick" they couldn't talk anymore. lol

Thanks, Jukester.
---
Myster Mask (alias Darkwing Duck)
http://www.angelfire.com/poetry/angeloflight [aX]