Today will be a double episode day as I have a half day of school and nothing else to do.

jukester

OOOOOOOOOH...

This is the first time that I've actually taken the time to read this. Mostly because I'm too lazy, but I'm feeling a bit energetic today, so I read it, laughed my ass off, and am going back for a second time.

spoinkies
*jer*
---
Death is cool, Death is fun, Everyone is doing it! Why not join in on the fun. Oh come now, you know you want it.

ZiH's gang is ready. They await their instructions.

ZiH- Alright peoples, we got a few targets. First, a skinny looking guy with long hair. Second, some weird foreign guy that is pretty strong, and lastly, there's some chick in a mask that needs to die... by my hand.

They nod.

DL- Good, they're loyal... and at least LOOK formidable. We should get going.
ZiH- Agreed. Men! We're heading to Bregenek... where those three are located.

In Bregenek, Canadian, SN, Mac and Monica gather their wits and such.

Monica- Wait... so what are you doing here?
Mac- I live here.
SN- I'm with him.
Canadian- Well, why were you running from those guys with the swords?
Mac- Swords? They had crossbows.
Canadian- Well they have swords now.
Mac- ..****!

They run like heck and hide.

Canadian- No, I meant that I saw them steal like, fifteen swords from an armory on my way here.
Mac- I hate you.
Monica- See? I'm not the only one.
Canadian- Drat. I'll never get that pony now.

Wacky and Sapphire stop for a second.

Tatl- What's wrong.
Wacky- I see his mansion.
Sapphire- Yes, as do I.
Tatl- Ah yes, there it is.
Wacky- Wait, didn't you work there for years?
Tatl- Umm... maybe.
Wacky- So why couldn't you lead us here?
Tatl- ...Reasons.
Sapphire- Tell us.
Tatl- I'd rather stab you.
Sapphire- I'd rather sex you up.
Wacky- That's pretty sick, man. She's dirty.
Tatl- Now you're both on my "Stab in the face" list.
Sapphire- I'll be doing a lot of "stabbing" tonight.
Wacky- GROSS YO!

On the ship...

QoL- We're almost there.
McGray- Where's there?
QoL- Don't you ever shut up?
McGray- ...No?
HoT- We're almost to Parallo.
McGray- Parallo... that's where I pulled that bank heist!
HoT- Yes. Hopefully everyone is back there by now.
QoL- Those idiots take longer to think of a coherent sentence than to walk to their cities and back.
McGray- So... would they be back?
QoL- Shut up.

jukester

I'm sure I speak for everyone when I see me and BO are the best characters.
---
Anyone capable of getting themselves elected president should on no account be allowed to do the job.
This week: Mupod Negnirt

Tatl- I'd rather stab you.
Sapphire- I'd rather sex you up.

OMG jukes, I can't stop laughing. Ok...breathe...
---
My ass can melt the ice in Ganon's Castle.~Polas

El suky.

jukester

well it's great to see Jukey still doing the sitcoms!
---
im icy cold, more than you can handle. "LETS GO FINGER SOME CHICKENS!"If u were my homework, i'd be doing u on my desk right now

Alissa- Hmm.. I really can't find Syrax now. ... I wonder if he wants his tighty-whities he left in the ship. ... Probably not. He doesn't even change them. Ah well... I'll give them to Bender so he can stop wearing those hideous thongs. I'm hungry. I guess I could eat here for a few minutes. But what to eat? Jeez... this place is pretty... skanky... for lack of better words. "Skank-Steak on a stick"? "Nipple Nibblers"? "AIDS Pudding"? Man... I gotta get some good food. Oh... hey... a small bistro.. that serves normal food. Good.

She walks into the bistro.

Alissa- Yeah, garcon, I'd like grilled pork loin.

The waiter giggles and skips away.

Alissa- Oh... so that's why there's no female body references in this restaurant. Ah well, better this than that.

jukester

Bumpity-blurp
---
"You do not know, my son, with how little wisdom the world is governed." ~ Axel Oxenstierna {åß}

Bender awakens from his drunken status lying on the floor. He blinks a few times to see an empty bar. He gets up and rubs his eyes, looking around. He sees the barman.

Bender- ...Supp?
FakeDL- You have a check to pay.
Bender- ...Parlez francais?
FakeDL- Vous devez payer pour votre diner.... maintenant.
Bender- Dammit!

He reaches into his sack... of money. He pulls out... a few gold $10 pieces and tosses them to FakeDL.

FakeDL- Merci.
Bender- Where's my seal?
FakeDL- Of approval? You don't get one. I actually have a great hate for you.
Bender- No, the animal.
FakeDL- He's getting it on with some broad upstairs as we speak.
Bender- Get out of town.
FakeDL- I was one of the founders of this town.
Bender- You're a moron, you know that? It all leads back to you being a moron.
FakeDL- You have no crotch.
Bender- How dare you look in my pants while I sleep drunk!
FakeDL- You tried to mount me whilst pantless.
Bender- What the **** did you put in my ginger ale?
FakeDL- You mean your HangOver ale?
Bender- You're SO going to hell.
FakeDL- Not before your seal pumps a good one in the broad.
Bender- ...

He walks upstairs to the bedrooms.

jukester

Awesome.

---
"Next time I'm breaking your spine you sack of crap!" - AP
SPOOKAY!™, it's MacDaddy Mike!

With our hero found, JJ, Warlock, Duel, and DP have nothing to do. They somehow meet up with Ganondork, Suicune, and their new hobo and take a sunbath on the rough rocks in Parallo.

JJ- I don't think I did anything whilst the rest of you looked for that guy.
DP- That's because I couldn't get you away from the steamed dumplings counter.
JJ- But they were so steamy!
Warlock- Anyways, this kid kept following me around.
Duel- I have to go potty!
Warlock- I mean, we couldn't have traded partners?
JJ- Hell no.
Duel- Potty!
Ganondork- The hobo isn't talking.
Suicune- Aye.
Ganondork- Shall we yank his socks?
Suicune- Not before we tiddle his tassles with molassas.
Ganondork- But that takes a good ol' hanky.
Suicune- I me haveth a good twenty.
Duel- Potty!

They lie down and stare at the moon. Yes, the moon.

Warlock- So I wonder when this McGray guy is gonna show up, I mean, geez. This guy takes FOREVER.
JJ- Jiggle wiggle ma piggle.
Duel- Potty!
Ganondork- Right then, hold down the wagon yonder.
Warlock- Oh yeah? Well scooby dooby doo! WHERE IZ YOU!
Ganondork- Err...
Suicune- Spazing dazzle.
Ganondork- Forthwit.
JJ- Potty!
Duel- Potty!

jukester

more me.
---
Anyone capable of getting themselves elected president should on no account be allowed to do the job.
This week: Mupod Negnirt

Bender gets to the top of the staircase. He sees a door and hears squeaking coming from it. Squeaking from a bed. He opens the door to see Fishy and no one else humping in bed.

Bender- ...Uhh...

Fishy just continues humping with an unremovable smile.

Bender- Riiight.... .... .... .... .... oh that's good stuff.

Bender shuts the door.

jukester

Wacky- Where the ****ing hell are those ass-munchers?
Sapphire- You just answered your own question.
Wacky- Shup.
Tatl- Let's not wait. The house be still, he sleeps within.
Wacky- *****, stop talking like some old folk woman from back when boobs weren't spiffay!
Tatl- Umm no.
Sapphire- Wait...someone's coming.. a helluva lot of people.. like... a gang.
Wacky- **** that let's take'm.
Sapphire- Hell no. Too many of them.
Tatl- I concur.
Wacky- Well, you *****es just screwed my plan of throwing you at them then slashing.

ZiH and DL stop the gang.

ZiH- We're stopping here at the mansion. Just need something real quick.

The gang nods.

DL- Ok... you are aware of our targets. We just eliminate them.

The gang nods.

DL- Dammit are you ****ing yes men nodders?

The gang nods.

DL- Great job choosing your gang, ZiH.

He returns.

ZiH- Ok, onward!

They march forward past where Wacky, Sapphire and Tatl hide. They continue until they're attacked by two men and a wild animal.

Smokey- Die! Beefer, get'm!
Beefer- Ragh ho! Beefer AM SMASH!!!
Antallic- I'll just steal your balls.

Wacky and Sapphire look at each other and get up and rush the gang from behind. Tatl soon follows suit. The makeshift ambush nearly cripples the gang, but leaves some wounds on the ambushers. Sapphire, Antallic, Smokey and Tatl lay wounded and hurt. Most of ZiH's gang lay dead. DL and ZiH stand opposing Beefer and Wacky.

Canadian looks up.

Canadian- Who are they! That gang...
Mac- ...Hmm... that's Mommorpher's gang. One of the most prominent ones here. Fortunately for us, they rarely attack villagers like myself.
Canadian- Oh.. so are we safe?
Mac- No, I'm safe. You'll probably taste the wrath of Frontenac.

jukester

Fishy just continues humping with an unremovable smile.

Ahahahahahahahaha! I can't believe this hasn't been posted in for so long. Classic stuff.
---
(Nintendo)"We still have fans? What the hell? Ok, how about a Donkey Kong drum game? That should run off the last of them,"~Quid

BO- So this is Bregenek?
Scott- Sure.
BO- Ok, let's get some hookers.
Scott- What the hell?!? This isn't Lajuenesse.
BO- I thought you said it was Bregenek.
Scott- We're in Bregenek.
BO- So where's da hookers?
Scott- In Lajuenesse.
BO- And where are we?
Scott- Bregenek.
BO- Yesh... we better get going.
Scott- No, we have to do some weird thing.
BO- Like get some hookers?
Scott- That's normal for you.
BO- This time I'm going to pay them.
Scott- No.
BO- Yeah you're right I have like, no money.
Scott- I'm moist.
BO- Sounds like you need a hooker.
Scott- I need a fox.

They twiddle their thumbs as they stand around. Canadian sees them.

Canadian- Hey!
BO- It's a hooker!
Scott- Or... yeah a hooker.
Canadian- Who are you people? It's dangerous here.
BO- My middle name is Stevey.
Scott- No, your middle name is "Dangerous"
BO- Not since last time I met that priest.

jukester

Bender opens the next door. He turns on the lantern light to see Airy getting it on with a 2 cent wench.

Bender- AIRY!
Airy- Ar ar ar?
Bender- Who is THAT!??!
HSB- Oh no!
Bender- Getcho ass outta here!

HSB gets her ass out of there.

Airy- Ar?
Bender- ...
Airy- Ar...
Bender- If you ever take anything below a 10 cent wench, you'll lose all self-esteem you've ever had. Trust me.
Airy- Arr...

jukester

I like it!
---
It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.
This week: magikid

Wasn't HSB killed earlier by someone she tried to seduce? This was like, near the very beginning of the sitcom.

---
"But getting felt up by Bender is so refreshing."-Alissa

Airforce is a weird person. Or seal.

jukester

Sometimes.
---
(Nintendo)"We still have fans? What the hell? Ok, how about a Donkey Kong drum game? That should run off the last of them,"~Quid

OHHH SCHNAP JUKEY!!!
...
...Sorry. Just thought I'd return the favor.
---
My ass can melt the ice in Ganon's Castle.~Polas

It must have been zombie HSB.
---
Alissa knows best... [aX]
It takes several hundred, perhaps thousands, of hairs to fill a pencil. - McGray

Throughout their tumbling battle, the crystal that Wacky once had had fallen to the ground. DL and ZiH notice this just as Wacky realizes how much they want it.

Wacky- So you want my shiny, eh?!?
DL- ...
ZiH- You take the big bear thing.
DL- I hate you.
Beefer- Raarhh! BEEfeR am nOT beaRR thiNG!!!

Beefer steps towards ZiH and DL and picks them up by their necks.

ZiH- Urg... good job...
DL- I still hate you.

Wacky picks up the crystal and puts it safely in his pocket.

Wacky- HA! You *******s can't even take on ONE of us.
Beefer- BeeFer am DOne GOoD!?!?
Wacky- Hell ****ing yeah, you groovy beast! I have an idea...

As Wacky, Sapphire, Tatl, Antallic, Smokey and Beefer walk away, they leave ZiH and DL nude hanging from a tree branch by their underclothes.

DL- I sooo hate you.
ZiH- Shut up. Let's get down from here, they're gone.

They warp to the ground and redress.

ZiH- So Wacky has that crystal. Which one is that one? The one of water?
DL- Yeah, we should recover it.
ZiH- No kidding.
DL- But that one will be the harder one to retrieve. There are easier ones to get.
ZiH- Oh yes. Yes indeed.
DL- So much for your gang.
ZiH- So much for yours.
DL- I hate you.

jukester

Ha! PWNED!
---
Fear leads to Anger...Anger leads to Stress...Stress leads to Doobies...and Doobies lead to Twinkies!~ HIGH Yoda

Beware Frontenac.

---
"You'll get yours in hell, Mac. HELL!" - Warlock
SPOOKAY!™, it's MacDaddy Mike!

Halloween Edition or some crap.

Bender- Hey.. what's wrong, Airy?
Airy- Ar... ar... AR!
Bender- ...You're kidding!?!
Airy- Arr... Ar.. ar ar ar...
Bender- You... have...contracted... syphilis?
Airy- Ar. Ar ar ar.

HSB's ghost waddles away grinning.

Mac- So who are you kids?
Scott- I'm a kid?
BO- You're an idiot.
Mac- Ok, so it's apparent that you both like clams and would be a good meal for Frontenac.
BO- I'm too salty.
Scott- He is.
BO- Am not.
Scott- Whatever.
Canadian- You guys dun make none sense!
Monica- We should get someplace safer than these streets. Especially with so many gangs.

A figure makes a shadow behind Monica.

Wacky- Not if I'm here.

Monica, without turning around, replies.

Monica- So you show up, eh?
Wacky- Better late than never.
Mac- Hey... I know you!
Wacky- Who the ****... wait.. you're that guy... and that skinny kid is your accomplice!
SN- Me? But I like dancing!
Wacky- Figures!
Mac- Wait... you two know each other?

Mac says to Monica and Wacky.

Wacky- You know her?
Mac- Not really. We just met here about 20 minutes ago.
Monica- Where are ZiH and DL, Wacky?
Wacky- They're just hanging around! Ha!
Monica- Hee hee... But is now a good time?
Canadian- Hey guys...
Wacky- Of course it is. Anytime is a good time.. with..
Canadian- Guys...
Monica- No. This city is far to dangerous for it. We should relocate... but later.
Canadian- There's a gang coming...
Wacky- Later?!? I can't wait...
Canadian- They've got sporks...
Mac- I'll try to hold them off... ****... it's Mommorpher's gang. No chance of that. Everybody... including the three weird fellas, the girl and gorilla that came with Wacky, prepare yourselves...

jukester

Gasp.

paint the town

I love how I'm all "fearless leader"-y.

---
"You'll get yours in hell, Mac. HELL!" - Warlock
SPOOKAY!™, it's MacDaddy Mike!

Everyone seems like they are leader in their home town.

jukester

You'll get yours, Jukey, you'll get yours.
---
(Nintendo)"We still have fans? What the hell? Ok, how about a Donkey Kong drum game? That should run off the last of them,"~Quid

It's weird with more than me and BO talking.
---
It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.
This week: magikid

*dances*

---
"screen name, you had a sadistic look on your face. As Alissa put it, you looked like you were going to go steal candy from some little children"~Duel

Hee hee hee ha ha ha

jukester

Mommorpher- Hoo ha, Mac.
Mac- ..Care to dance?
Mommorpher- Skipping the foreplay.. as usual.
Mac- Said the dungbeetle to the antelope.
Mommorpher- But the wisest animal in the jungle is the one who doesn't realize it.
Wacky- Whoa now, kiddies, let's skip this ***-*** crap talk and bash some ****ing faces in!
Mommorpher- Who's the barbarian?
Wacky- Hey! **** YOU!

Wacky takes out his axe, which drips of blood.

Mommorpher- I stand corrected. Yard ape.
Wacky- Alright THATS IT, ASS!
Mac- Not smart to take on that many men.

Mac points to the gang of approximately twenty men.

Wacky- I'll kill'm!
Monica- Please, Wacky... just wait until we're all ready.

She nods to Antallic who struggles with his tighty whities.

jukester

*points and laughs at Antallic*
---
50 Cent looks like Beetlejuice, the handicapped midget from Howard Stern.~Polas

Pfft, I could own more than 20 men in a fight to the death!
---
Tell the daughter of Zion, behold, your king is coming to you, Humble, and mounted on an ass; and on a colt, the foal of an ass.~Matthew 21:5

Ganondork awakens. He peers around at his mates who lay asleep in the loft above their pad. He checks for his pendant.. which is missing.

Ganondork- BLOODY HELL! ME PENDANT BE STOLEN!

Suicune and the others wake up.

Suicune- What be the problem, you see?!
Warlock- Did I lose my virginity?!?!
Ganondork- Err.. no. I lost my pendant. Where is it? Anyone see it froffin about here?
JJ- Where's the squirrel of yours anyways?
Ganondork- ...
JJ- ...
Ganondork- !!!
JJ- Good, now let me sleep.

Ganondork gets up and leaves to look for LikeWhoa. He has no idea when the last time he saw him was.

Likewhoa- Neeyork! Bloopors!

He jumps from Sci's ice box in his lab. After eating all of his food, he has much desire to sleep. But... where?

Likewhoa- Snoffle! Fronfle! Joby!

He scurries past the door of the lab to the center of Lasly Square. He sees a tree a few steps near and decides to sleep there. As he climbs the tree, he sees something.

Likewhoa- Bloople!?

He jumps into a window from the branch. He sees a few papers, one of which reads "Notice: Police searching for young boy who goes by the name of Duel. Beware, he is a sex offender."

Likewhoa- Urf!

jukester

Duel is a sex offender? Man, didn't see that one coming...
Nice job jukes.
---
My ass can melt the ice in Ganon's Castle.~Polas

"Notice: Police searching for young boy who goes by the name of Duel. Beware, he is a sex offender."

Likewhoa- Urf!

Best. Episode. Ever.
---
"The ZSB: We Are So Much Better Than You."

Overloaded...

jukester

Tonight there'll be.
---
*Stabbity*

Ganondork- Dammit!
JJ- You're gonna lose that, girl.
Ganondork- I'm a loser.
JJ- Slob.
Ganondork- Where's my "Asian friend?"
JJ- Who wrote Holden Caulfield?
Ganondork- ... You should know.
JJ- Your mother should know.
Ganondork- Words of love.
JJ- Your own disaster.
Ganondork- You like me too much.
JJ- You're a god.
Ganondork- You know how I do.
JJ- ... You're so last summer.
Ganondork- Yesterday.

Ganondork finally gets up and runs off to find Likewhoa and his pendant. Duel and Warlock wake up from spooning. Warlock looks around in search of Ganondork. He and Duel inquire where he is.

Warlock- Waggy?
JJ- The grouch?
Duel- The fool on the hill?
Warlock- The boy who blocked his own shot?
Duel- Where'd ya go?
Warlock- Tightwad hill?
Duel- Penny lane?
Warlock- Vegas?
JJ- Possibilities.
Duel- News-stand?
Warlock- On the wagon?
JJ- Only in dreams.
Duel- Christie Road?
Warlock- Family reunion?
JJ- Keep fishin'
DP- Duck pond.

JJ nods and falls back asleep. Warlock and Duel get up to find Ganondork and help him.

Warlock- Direction?
DP- Westbound Sign.
Warlock- Thanks, you're the best.
DP- *smile*

Warlock and Duel leave the loft.

DP- Don't leave me.... Don't let go....
JJ- Sick of me?
DP- Degenerate.

She turns her nose and gets up.

jukester

<_<

Best hour I've spent reading one topic at GameFAQs since I came back. Ever.
---
Sig Creation In Progress...

My best hour of reading a topic was when I read the first sitcom (the college one).
---
It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.

Jukester is a laughter god.

---
"You'll get yours in hell, Mac. HELL!" - Warlock
SPOOKAY!™, it's MacDaddy Mike!

I have to admit that that last episode was pretty crappy.

jukester

Wacky's eyes glare blood red as Mommorpher stares into them pondering how he would kill Wacky. Mac reaches for his sword. Smokey pulls out his whip and both sides arm themselves.

Mac- You sure you're up for this?
Wacky- Don't ever ****ing question my ability, *****.
Mac- Just making sure you're feeling right.

Wacky plunges at Mommorpher who arrogantly dodges it. Mac and Sapphire pounce forth to random gangsmen. Mommorpher keeps his focus on Wacky. Wacky regains his footing and bares his teeth at Mommorpher, who unsheathes his Malachite Sword which has a blueish glimmer in the midday sun.

Wacky- ***** gettin' all fancy on me....

Mac stabs the random gangsman who had attempted to attack. Beefer starts his rampage through the moronic people standing in front of him. Smokey whips random people and pulls out their legs. Sapphire continues slicin' and dicin'. Monica unleashes some high-acrobatic techniques of martial arts. Antallic cavorts around tickling the wounded. And BO and Scott sit atop a tree tossing acorns at people.

BO- Eat it!
Scott- NO!
BO- EAT IT!
Scott- Sure.

Mommorpher continues to evade all of Wacky's attacks.

Wacky- Too afraid to fight me? I understand.... DIE ****** ******!!!

With Wacky's full potential, he dives, axe-blade first, at Mommorpher.

jukester

Go me and BO!
---
Board 548: We eat penguins.
It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.