After talking, Wacky and Monica and the rest of their crew set off to Monica's destination of choice. Wacky's faith in Monica allows him to be lead there without knowledge of the place. They soon reach the Cloutier Mountains, located due west of Bregenek.

Wacky- Damn it smells like **** here!
Monica- That means we're closing in on the place we're looking for.
Sapphire- I don't feel to good here.
Monica- The smoke, skulls, ogre body parts and grunting shouldn't discourage you.
Sapphire- I was thinking more about the giant footsteps, the shrieking and blood spewing out from behind that rock over there....

In the back of the trail line they were walking in, the others ignored the evil thingies.

Beefer- Rargh!! So aM hunGery!!!! RARGH!!!
BO- Want a cracker?
Scott- That isn't a cracker.
Beefer- Rargh! ME WANT!!!
BO- It is TOO a cracker.
Scott- Crackers don't have salt, buddy!
Beefer- BEEFERSH WANTSH!!!! GIVE!
BO- Crackers have salt.
Scott- No way, dude. Too much mayo on it, anyway.
Beefer- BEEFERSH LIKE MAYO RARGH!!!! GIVE!!!
BO- I added the mayo when I had the chance.
Scott- Liar. What you have in your hand is a turnip.
Beefer- BEEFER LIKE THE TURNIPSSH!!!! WaITT Beefersh ashk whaT iSh turnip!!?!?
BO- I bet he'll eat it anyway.
Scott- Sure thing.

Beefer is given the food and eats it.

BO- See?
Scott- I agreed with you.
BO- Shut up.
Scott- I agree.
BO- Then look over there!

Scott looks over there, BO steals his crackers.

BO- Hey, want a cracker?
Scott- Sure.
BO- Not you. Beefer.
Scott- Fine, I'll eat my own crackers!
Wacky- SHUT THE **** UP YOU ***** **** ****** ****es!

Wacky held up the line. They reached their point of entry.

Monica- As I was saying... this cave is where we need to be.
Smokey- Why?
Monica- Something important will happen here. All we have to do is wait for it.

jukester

That was one stupid conversation. Right on the money with my reply, jukey.
---
Et Eärello Endorenna utúlien. Sinome maruvan ar Hildinyar tenn' Ambar-metta!=>Aragorn {åß}

I'm still waiting for my talking dolphin and/or robotic elephant pet's appearance.

---
"ZSB has purified itself to such a level that we have very little to talk about."-AV

Sapphire starts a camp fire as night approaches. The area is a blistery and cold one. No one except Monica was prepared. She put on some gloves and a warm hat. Monica and Wacky whisper to each other... yet someone's eavesdropping.

Wacky- So what the **** are we waiting for?
Monica- Our passage to greatness...
Wacky- What do you mean. I'm the greatest warrior EVER.
Monica- Heh heh.. shhh... ok listen. I found out how to become... gods. But you cannot tell a soul here.

The eavesdropper's eyebrow raises and listens closer.

Wacky- That crazy **** is ****ED UP!
Monica- It's been proven true.
Wacky- How?!?!
Monica- I just know... trust me.
Wacky- Alright, but this is one of the more crapped up stories I've heard.

The eavesdropper returns back to the others.

Beefer- Rargh!!! ME SLEEPY!!!
Sapphire- Well.. so am I. I suppose we should have shifts of who should stay awake to watch.
Canadian- Sounds good. I'm not tired, so I'll stay up first. Who wants to stay up with me?
Sapphire- Hey Wacky! Monica! Are either of you too tired to stay up on guard?
Wacky- SHUT THE HELL UP!
Sapphire- Wacky might volunteer, Canadian.
Canadian- In that case, I might just watch alone...

McGray, Warlock, QoL, HoT, and Duel search for the ancient scripture.

McGray- This way?
Duel- Monkey balls!
HoT- Right. We'll be there in no time.
Duel- Monkey balls!
Warlock- How do you know that?
Duel- Monkey balls!
HoT- Because I have a giant cranium. Now be quiet!
Duel- Monkey balls!
Warlock- Hmm... I bet it isn't that much bigger than mine.
Duel- Monkey balls!
HoT- It is, now shut up!
Duel- Monkey balls!
QoL- I hate you all....
Duel- Monkey balls!

jukester

Why would I want to be god. I already am...
Never mind.
I lost the story, but I'm still archiving this.
---
Myster Mask (aka Darkwing Duck) ~ [aX]
www.mystermask.com

That night, Canadian and Mac talk.

Canadian- Hey... so what do you do in your free time?
Mac- Not flirt with other guys.
Canadian- Shucks.

They check the fire to make sure it'll still burn. Canadian stands up.

Canadian- I'ma go get some more wood. Alright?
Mac- Sure whatever...

Canadian walks away into the foresty area and grabs a sturdy branch that had fallen. He walks back.

Mac- That was fas-

Then he's hit upside the head unconscious.

Canadian- Baack to business.

He throws the log back into the forest. Canadian goes through everyone's sacks and purses, taking their money.

Canadian- Heh heh heh... I'm brilliant.

Canadian takes Mac's broad sword and turns to walk away.

Sapphire- Not so fast, foreigner. Where do you think you're going with our money, jewelry, belongings and Mac's sword.
Canadian- I... uhh...

Canadian motions to stab Sapphire who retaliates by drawing his sword.

Sapphire- *****! Ain't got nothin' on me!
Canadian- ...You're right...

He drops the sword and holds his hands up. As Sapphire reaches for Mac's fallen sword, Canadian runs off into the woods. Sapphire instinctively hurls the sword at Canadian, but it misses and impales a tree. Canadian grabs it while running. Sapphire thinks about chasing, but knows he'd not be able to catch up.

Wacky- What the **** just happened... AND WHERE'S MY ****?!?!
Sapphire- The stealthy foreigner took all our money, gold, and everything. Even Mac's sword.
Wacky- That ****'s a piece of crap anyway.
Sapphire- ...Yeah.

jukester

Not my sword!

---
Leading His Team To Victory In Polas' Mystery Contest Since Jan '04
SPOOKAY!™, it's MacDaddy Mike

Not my virginity!

...oh..wait...no, still here. Nevermind. False alarm.

---
"ZSB has purified itself to such a level that we have very little to talk about."-AV

And forevermore!
---
Et Eärello Endorenna utúlien. Sinome maruvan ar Hildinyar tenn' Ambar-metta!=>Aragorn {åß}

Canadian turns his head back while coming to a halt. He's out of breath and thinks he's outran his predators.

Canadian- Heh heh heh...

Just then, a shadow appears in the trees above him, it's cast down upon the lit grass in front of Canadian.

Canadian- ... Who's there?
Monica- Your worst nightmare...

Monica jumps up and does a flip off the tree and lands in front of Canadian. She masks herself with a duck-shaped mask.

Canadian- Who the **** are you!?!? You.. aren't the Devil are you?
Monica- Worse than that....I am the Terror that corrects the errors...
Canadian- ..Where have I heard that before...
Monica- Hush! Now...

Monica leaps into a diving kick which nails Canadian in the head. He falls back onto his ass and proceeds to draw his sword.

Canadian- Enough of these stupid games and cleverly rhymed catch phrases....

He swings at Monica, who dodges and chops Canadian in the back. He lands face first on the ground. He pulls himself up and swings wildly around at Monica, who backs off to avoid the rage. She then jumps into a tree and prepares to dive on Canadian.

Canadian- Where'd you go? You crazy monkey...

Monica readies herself to jump, but she twitches and a branch snaps. Canadian tilts his head as Monica dives on him. Canadian thrusts his sword upward and it stabs deeply into Monica.

Canadian- Ha HA!

Monica falls to the ground. Canadian walks over and unmasks her.

Canadian- ****ing ****. I best get my ass out of here before Wacky gets his-
Wacky- Ass over to ****ing beat yours?

Wacky had just arrived, too late to save Monica from her wound. Canadian runs like the dickens.

Wacky- ****, how bad is it?
Monica- I'll... live... it's not that bad.

The stabwound was in the side of her gut, missing her organs.

Wacky- He's a marked man now... I swear to Krosser himself that I'll slit that boy's throat.
Monica- Just... get me back to the camp...

jukester

lol

Good stuff.

---
Board 548: We are so much better than you
{åß}

Well since my last post, I went and ACTUALLY read the college sitcom.

Two questions though....

The one I read, Jukester said it was revived because he actually knows us better, so what happened in the original?

Second. I was reading it and got to page 8 on your site(I think it's Jukesters) and then there's no more? Any way I can read the rest?

---
Board 548: We are so much better than you
{åß}

I made the first one Feb of 2002. I didn't know anyone then, so it died off.

That'd be Mars's site, not mine.

jukester

This should be where Wacky and Monica share a deep emotional kiss, and I start singing the song from Bodyguard.

---
"ZSB has purified itself to such a level that we have very little to talk about."-AV

lol
Ducks don't kiss, silly.
---
Myster Mask (aka Darkwing Duck) ~ [aX]
www.mystermask.com

Then this is where Wacky and Monica spit fish into each other's mouths and I start singing the song from Bodyguard.

---
Currently in the works... Zelda RPG
www.freewebs.com/zsbrpg

That was gross. Shrimps, maybe. But FISH?!?
---
Myster Mask (aka Darkwing Duck) ~ [aX]
www.mystermask.com

Fish are more romantic.

---
Currently in the works... Zelda RPG
www.freewebs.com/zsbrpg

Fish is out of the question. Shrimps, maybe. Calamari - as a second acceptable choice. Let's be lenient, and say... maybe prawns.
But fish is a mark of utter bad taste.
---
Myster Mask (aka Darkwing Duck) ~ [aX]
www.mystermask.com

Well EXCUSE me!

---
Currently in the works... Zelda RPG
www.freewebs.com/zsbrpg

Ok. But only THIS time.
---
Myster Mask (aka Darkwing Duck) ~ [aX]
www.mystermask.com

Fish is ****ing crap. I say we have it with prawns.
---
Et Eärello Endorenna utúlien. Sinome maruvan ar Hildinyar tenn' Ambar-metta!=>Aragorn {åß}

Duel- Hey lookie here fellas!

He jumps up and down and points towards a greyish stone.

Duel- Let's push! It! Push it!
QoL- I swear to Polas I'll stab you a thousand times over....
Polas- Fine by me, QoL.
QoL- I know, but at least he's onto some things.
Polas- Such as your leg?

Duel proceeds to hump QoL's leg.

QoL- God dammit!
Polas- No, I enjoy watching. I mean... *poof*
McGray- Who are you talking to?
QoL- Eerr... shut the hell up?
McGray- Sure.

The stone opens a hidden passage into the mountain.

HoT- Peculiar... who could've made this contraption...
QoL- Someone with way too much tim- GET THE **** OFF MY LEG!
Duel- No.
QoL- Fair enough. Just don't ... finish ... on my leg.
Duel- No.
QoL- I'll cut it off, I swear.
Duel- It's made of titanium!
QoL- Boy, my sword is composed an equal distribution of every element at its strongest. It can easily melt the coldest ice while evaporating the wettest water. It can shock rubber, and bring wind to a halt. It ca-
Duel- Fine! I'll go hump McGray's leg!

He gets off QoL's leg and waddles over to McGray.

McGray- Nooooo! My virgin leg! ... Oooh.... ...ahhh.... yeaaaah....

jukester

They walk into the darkness of the cavern, expecting the worst, or at least a side of ham.

QoL- Anyone have a light... screw it.
HoT- Why? I have a light.

QoL snaps his fingers and a light appears over his head, lighting the path.

HoT- Fine.
Warlock- Show off.
QoL- Shut up, Peaches.
Warlock- Who told you about what I did two summers ago?!?
QoL- I'm an apostle of the gods, jack ass. I see all.
Warlock- I swear to Jeaton it was too cold that day.
QoL- It was 80 degrees.
Warlock- Yeah, COLD!
McGray- Quiet, you. I've found something.
QoL- Show it here.

QoL walks over to McGray who has found something.

McGray- It appears to be a riddle.
QoL- Read it, dolt.
McGray- You're mean.
QoL- You're a dolt.
McGray- Fine. Ahem...
"What you seek
What you desire
If you want to attain it
Lead the path with fire
Don't forget
How to end it all
It will help you
Doors and walls"
Warlock- That makes no sense.
Duel- I like pudding!
McGray- You can't afford pudding.
Duel- I make pudding! In my pants!
McGray- Yeah sure. Anyways, what's this all about fire and what not.
QoL- Obviously, my supreme magic and skill shall prevail over your human suckiness.
McGray- Hey I can make a leaf.
QoL- ... Whoopie.
Warlock- I can make rocks.
QoL- But you still don't have any stones.

jukester

Bump, infidels.

jukester

LOL wtf

---
"Ow! My hopes of reaching first base!"- So-and-So

Bender, Alissa, Fishy, Airy and Syrax take a stroll along the beach.

Bender- So then I was attacked by a fearsome predator with large teeth and sharp eyes.
Airy- Ar ar ar ar ar ar?
Bender- No, what kind of predator has large eyes and sharp teeth? Stupid dolphin.
Airy- Ar ar ar!
Bender- Seal? HAH! You were never in the Navy.
Alissa- Yeah so about this predator...
Bender- Yeah so it almost nabbed me, but I took out my schlong of doom and slayed the monster with it.
Airy- Ar ar ar ar ar ar ar ar ar ar ar ar ar ar ar ar ar, ar ar ar ar ar; ar ar ar ar ar ar ar "AR AR AR AR AR ar ar AR ar AR!" ar ar ar ar. Ar ar ar ar ar. Ar ar ar, ar ar ar ar ar ar ar: ar ar ar ar ar ar.
Alissa- I see.
Bender- He lies!
Alissa- That was mean what you did to that poor sea turtle. You know they die when exposed to such white coloring.
Bender- SHUT. UP.
Airy- Ar ar ar ar ar.
Alissa- And you smacked a penguin? WHO ARE YOU!??! And what have you done with mild mannered Bender?
Bender- I... I...
Syrax- MEOW!

Syrax scampers away on all fours.

Bender- ....

Bender darts his eyes.

Bender- ....

Bender scampers away on all fours.

jukester

>_>

---
"Ow! My hopes of reaching first base!"- So-and-So

Wacky and Monica return to the campsite.

Wacky- Look what the ***** ass ***** did!
Sapphire- ****... how bad does it feel?
Monica- I'll be fine, now stop obsessing over such a minute scratch.
Smokey- It still could be infected. Better get it cleaned up.

BO and Scott wake up.

BO- What happened?
Monica- It healed on the way back.
Scott- Healed on the way back, your side did heal?
BO- Her side did heal while on the way back.
Scott- He stabbed her side, Mac's sword he did steal.
BO- And he took all our stuff and put it in a sack.
Scott- Where did he go? What his intentions were?
BO- He ran off far, far off did he go.
Scott- If he stabbed Monica, fearing Wacky, he was a blur.
BO- Yeah, one could say that he wasn't at all slow.
Scott- I suppose that all goes to say, you know.
BO- Indeed, I-
Wacky- STOP THE FRICKIN' RHYMES.
Scott- Chives....

Mac stands up.

Mac- ... I see.... Frontenac shall strike upon thee, Canadian....

jukester

bump

---
Board 548: We are so much better than you
{åß}

You know what I just got? I'm Canadian, and now I'm trying to kill Im Canadian. That's cool.

---
My mom said I was banging my hands against the wall
and screaming your name last night. - Ben

The morning dew moistens the feet of those who will soon chase Canadian. Mac, Sapphire, Wacky and Beefer begin to search for him.

Mac- Alright, well he's had only a few hours to get away, and since he didn't sleep last night, he must be tired.
Sapphire- So you're saying we should check the inns?
Mac- Yeah. I bet he's in one nearby. Bregenek is closest. So we'll check there.
Wacky- Monica said that she'll start a search party for the last crystal.
Sapphire- Good. I suppose Smokey will have to lead that.
Beefer- Rargh ho!
Sapphire- That's right, Beefer... Rargh ho... ...

They approach the Bregenek Inn. Walking in, Mac consults the innskeeper, who directs them to Canadian's room.

Mac- Thank you, good sir.

They proceed up the stairs, Wacky has already unsheathed his axe.

Wacky- Bust that **** down....

Sapphire kicks down the door to find an open window and disheveled sheets.

Mac- ****er!

They rush to the window to see Canadian upon a rooftop a few buildings away. Wacky's face turns blood red as he jumps out the window to pursue. Canadian jumps at Wacky's unexpected approach.

Canadian- God damn, why must he be so straightforward...

Canadian hauls some ass jumping from house to building to building to hut. Mac and Sapphire follow along on either side of the houses on the road. Mac grabs a bow and a quiver of arrows from a passerby and starts shooting for Canadian, who dodges them girlishly.

Canadian- Eeee! Eeeee! Eee!

Wacky starts to catch up and soon casts a fireball spell to launch at Canadian. The fireball speeds towards him, but misses, though burning a bit of Canadian's foot along with the roof of the hut. Sapphire slaps a ninja and steals his shurikens and whips them at Canadian. While dodging the arrows, one shuriken slices Canadian's thigh, causing him to limp and fall into a gap between houses. In hope, the three rush to the alleyway to find no one there.

Wacky- How the **** did we lose track of a ****ing gimp?!?!
Mac- Shhh....

Mac creeps towards a small bundle of wood and reaches into it.

Canadian- EEEEE OOOO EEEE!!!

Canadian jumps out and lands ass first on the ground.

Mac- I believe this is mine...

Mac retrieves his sword. He raises it to kill him.

Canadian- EEEEEEEE OOOOOOOOOOOOO EEEEEEEEEE!!!

Reluctantly, Wacky protests.

Wacky- No.... I want Monica to kill this heap of ****.

Mac lowers his sword.

Mac- ... ... If you must... I suppose it's fair.

Mac then kicks Canadian in the face, knocking him out cold. They drag him back to the Cloutier Mountain site where Monica is.

jukester

Bravo!

---
My mom said I was banging my hands against the wall
and screaming your name last night. - Ben

bump i know i am in there some where
---
1/2 of the Legendary Lonestars

Monica- Ok, Smokey. I want you, Antallic, BO and Scott to go search for the last crystal, okay?
Smokey- Yes'm. We'll not come back empty handed!

They take some gear and start a march up the mountain.

BO- Where we goin', Thunder?
Smokey- Stop calling me Thunder. My name is Smokey.
BO- Ooooooohhhhh...........
Scott- What?
BO- That.
Scott- Shut up.
Antallic- I'm still weirder than both of you combined. SNORGLE.
Scott- BIURF!!!
BO- GLORPING MORG!
Smokey- Why me....

They trek on until they reach a dark cavern. Upon entering, a light shines bright red upon their faces.

BO- BURNING MY FACE IS BURNING.... WHAHHHHHHHHH!!!

He runs out and rams himself into a tree repeatedly. Scott snorts laughing and rolls on the ground like a pregnant mongoose.

Smokey- Wow... what is it... she said we were looking for a red crystal...
Antallic- Just grab it, you pansy.
Smokey- Fine.

Smokey picks up the red crystal and he and Antallic descend the mountain. Upon arrival they stared.

Smokey- ...Swhat?
Wacky- Oh you're back just in time to see Canadian die.
Antallic- Pfff... not as bad as he'll die in three years!
Sapphire- Ehhh stop talking. Monica's ready.

Monica stands up, almost completely better.

Monica- .... What do you have to say for yourself.
Canadian- I wouldn't have done it if I knew it was you....

Monica slaps him. His face spins to the left, facing Smokey.

Canadian- I see you recovered the Mars Crystal....
Monica- You mean the Crystal of Fire...?
Canadian- If that's what you want to call it... sure. But its real name is-

Wacky kicks him in the stomach.

Wacky- The lady's always right, ***** face.
Monica- Wait.. so it's really called the Mars Crystal? What about the others?
Canadian- Jupiter for Wind, Mercury for Water, and Venus for Earth....
Monica- I see. Where did you learn all of this?
Canadian- My homeland...
Monica- Where is this?
Canadian- ... ... I ... you wouldn't believe me.
Monica- Try me. Or Wacky will try to see if your face can enter your ass.
Canadian- Ok ok... I'm from a small island called Frontenac.
Mac- No way... ... that can't be possible. Frontenac's only a myth.
Canadian- No... tis not. I was born there. That's how I know the Frontenacian tongue....
Mac- Tyyhh uvvlll norj myn err adsy narm.
Canadian- Uoledk plosd whok dlo jol yhee mejj narm uvvlll.
Mac- My Frontenacian is perfect!
Canadian- Ha. You sound like a schoolboy taught to perfect phrases.

Mac knees Canadian.

Mac- Remember which one of us is going to die sooner.
Canadian- But you'll die even sooner if you don't heed my warning.
Mac- What... what warning.
Canadian- The crystals... they lead to ultimate... urg...
Monica- What's wrong?
Canadian- Erggg.... .... urpp...
Wacky- The **** is wrong with him?!?!

jukester

Damn, jukey, this is gold. You're one hell of a storyteller.

---
My mom said I was banging my hands against the wall
and screaming your name last night. - Ben

Canadian falls to the ground.

Wacky- He's frickin' delusional! I say we chop him up into little pieces and feed him to BO and Scott!
Monica- Hmm... I wonder if he was actually telling the truth... Not many know Frontenacian off hand.
Mac- True. It took years for me to teach even the alphabet to a friend.
Monica- But the relations aren't accurate... Mars is the god of Water... not Fire....
Mac- Indeed... but he hasn't always been, you know. Way back when, at the dawn of time, the original gods' names were... Mars of Fire, Venus of Earth, and so on. So he's telling the truth.
Monica- Wait, you knew all this and withheld the information? Why?
Mac- I didn't think it was pertinent to the journey. If it was ever needed, I'd tell, though.
Monica- Hmm fine.
Wacky- All this element crap is giving me a bad head ache... where's BO and Scott, I need punching bags....

Wacky walks off to find the two idiots.

{Here's the part where I forgot what I meant by the riddle a few posts up}

McGray looks over the riddle. He thinks hard.

QoL- I can't believe you idiots haven't figured this out yet.
Duel- Munchy munchy munchy... MUNCHY!
McGray- Just tell me.
QoL- Sigh... if I must...

QoL starts walking.

QoL- Follow me.
McGray- Roger that.
Duel- Go go go!
Warlock- Affirmative.
HoT- You take the point.

They start walking further into the cavern.

QoL- Ok. "Lead the path with fire"

QoL creates a fireball and it lights invisible candles.

McGray- What?!??! Candles??!?! SCENTED?!?!?!?!
Warlock- Err... why are there invisible candles?
QoL- Because if you could see them, this wouldn't guard the second of the three artifacts.
Warlock- Oh.
McGray- MMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmm smell that?!?!? IT'S RASPBERRY TWIST!!! MY FAVORITE!!! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

McGray prances and cavorts around like a little school girl.

jukester

QoL- Ok. Here we are.

They arrive in a dimly lit room with no exits but the one they came through.

Warlock- What?!? Where to next?
QoL- Ok. The riddle says to remember how to end it all. How do you kill someone?
HoT- Stabbing them?
QoL- Correct.

Duel starts humping the wall.

QoL- Where in hell did you find this kid?
Warlock- A bit south east of Pandemonium.
QoL- ...You're a sick bastard.
McGray- Ok...so I kill the walls?
QoL- Yeah sure.

McGray slashes and stabs the walls. Thus, the walls turn into doors. McGray opens the door on the left. There is a treasure chest.

McGray- Hoochy momma treasure!

Warlock opens the door on the right.

Warlock- Wow! A dead dungbeetle!

HoT opens the center door.

HoT- And here's what we're really looking for....
QoL- Yep. That there's the Destinae Dominus. The holder of it knows all knowledge. So don't pick it up. Allow me.... since I already know everything.

QoL picks up the tablet and tucks it away so no one else could touch it.

QoL- Hahaa.. it's true. McGray is a pansy... haha.

McGray whines as he can't drag the chest fast enough.

jukester

I knew it!

---
Respect is not a right
ZSB'er

Bump, I'll definitely make a lot more episodes during the weekend.

jukester

Returning to the beach, McGray, QoL and Warlock look for Bender, Alissa and the others.

McGray- WHERE DEY GO!?
QoL- Shut up. And they seem to have disappeared.
McGray- ME LOOK DEM FIND!!!?!?
QoL- Shut UP. And go ahead and look, we'll stay here. Warlock, go with him in case he decides to see how far he can walk into the ocean.
Warlock- Roger that.
QoL- I hate you.

HoT and Duel come down with the chest of treasure.

HoT- Where'd they go?
QoL- To search for Alissa and the others, who seem to have disappeared.

Just then, DL and ZiH appear from behind a rock. They carry strong weapons and have a fiery look in their eyes.

DL- Well well... if it isn't the Destinae Dominus.
ZiH- Just what we need. How about it. Trade it.
QoL- Eh? For what? What would we gain from trading this priceless artifact with you?
ZiH- You'd certainly keep your lives.
QoL- ... ... Right. (Stand back, HoT. Duel, you too.)
DL- Oh, so you think you can protect the skinny one and the child rapist?
Duel- Poot!
QoL- So you think you can get past me to harm them? Hah!
ZiH- I can beat you alone. Stand back, DL.
DL- If you insist.

DL steps back and stands down his weapon. ZiH readies his long sword "The Crucible Fire" and swings a few blanks at QoL who stands there with his arms folded.

QoL- ... If you must....

QoL casts a spell which causes the ground to shake. ZiH is startled. The waters of the ocean's shore nearby start to rise violently. Millions of gallons of water float precariously above ZiH and DL who stare up at the miracle. DL steps back and runs back to safety. ZiH is locked up in fear. As he starts to run, QoL releases the water and it lands on ZiH, crushing him.

QoL- Sigh... ignorance of what I am....

DL pulls out a bow and aims it at QoL, then he fires at his heart.

QoL- Pfff. An arrow.

The arrow hits, and QoL falls to the ground.

DL- Haha!

He runs over to QoL and prepares to slice him. QoL turns over and kicks DL in the chest. He jumps to his feet and pulls out his sword. They circle ZiH as they fake stabs at each other. After a few minor blows to DL, QoL is pulled to the ground by ZiH, who regained consciousness. DL then pulls out the Destinae Dominus and runs off. ZiH follows.

QoL- They won't get far. The Destinae Dominus will surely make that fellow go insane.

DL shouts from the distance.

DL- Aha! But I am the holder of the Helm of Dominus! The effects of the Destinae do not harm me! Bwahahah!
QoL- Well ****.

jukester

That wily DL!

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Respect is not a right, and opinions can be wrong
ZSB'er

Oh-oh! Good installment. Heh.
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Myster Mask (aka Darkwing Duck) ~ [aX]
www.mystermask.com

Wacky- Where are those mother ********* ***** *** **** ****** ** ** * **** *** ****** **** ***** **** **** *** twerps?

Wacky walks up the mountain path to look for BO and Scott. Though down below, Mac and Monica discuss what Canadian had said.

Mac- This is all very peculiar.
Monica- I agree.
Mac- What .... why ... no how can he know all of this?
Monica- Hmph... well... all I know is he's pretty accurate.
Mac- Well yeah. This is all very peculiar.
Monica- I agree.
Mac- What .... why ... no how can he know all of this?
Monica- Hmph... well... all I know is he's pretty accurate.
Mac- Well yeah. This is all very peculiar.
Monica- I agree.
Mac- What .... why ... no how can he know all of this?
Monica- Hmph... well... all I know is he's pretty accurate.
Mac- Well yeah. This is all ver-
Smokey- Hey, yeah. Uhhh... shouldn't we hide that crystal or something? Apparently it leads to something that's ultimate, and how good can that be?
Monica- I agree. ...Wait what?
Mac- I see. Perhaps we should just keep it safe... Hmmm...
DL- Need a place to keep that?
Mac- Yeah I do... wait.... DL?
DL- That'sa me.

DL appears out of nowhere.

DL- Hand over the crystal... Now.
Mac- No way, jack ass. We outnumber you.
DL- If you dare, try to attack me.

Mac lunges at DL but goes right through him.

DL- Hahaha!
Mac- What the heck was that?!?!
Monica- ...He's... ... ****.
Smokey- Hmm... what is happening?
Monica- This can only mean one thing. MAC! Don't let him get the crystal!!!

jukester

*roots for the good guys*

---
Respect is not a right, and opinions can be wrong
ZSB'er

Mac dodges DL's advances.

DL- Hahaha! You think you can escape my wrath?

DL creates a double of himself that also pursues Mac in hopes of retrieving the crystal.

Mac- WHAT THE BLOODY HELL!?!?
Monica- Hmm... ... How can he do that?

Canadian regains his thoughts and sits up, rubbing his eyes. He sees what's going on.

Canadian- Who the **** gave HIM the Destinae Dominus?!?

DLs' eyes send their attention to Canadian now.

DL- How.. you have learned far too much....

DL casts a spell that sends Canadian far into the atmosphere. Monica watches him disappear into nothingness.

Monica- NO! What did you do that for?

DL responds while his body double continues to pursue Mac.

DL- He knows more than you. He knows what will happen. He musn't inform you petty beings about it either.
Mac- AHHHHHHHHH!!! HELP!

Mac runs by the real DL, who trips him and grabs the crystal as it flies out of his hands.

DL- And now I bid thee farewell. Do not worry about your very well informed friend. He won't feel a thing. Tah tah.

DL disappears. His double charges for Monica but disperses upon touch.

jukester

This was on the 3rd page. WTF?
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Fear leads to Anger...Anger leads to Stress...Stress leads to Doobies...and Doobies lead to Twinkies!~ HIGH Yoda

Ganondork, Suicune, Alissa, Bender, and Syrax are hanging in a net that was set to trap them. ZiH walks over.

ZiH- Well well well... if it isn't the ol' trouble-makers.
Bender- What do you want with us?!? If you want sex, I'll give you my body. ......
Alissa- Err...
Syrax- SPROING!
ZiH- Shut up, infidels. As you may know, we already have the four crystals of the elements.
Alissa- So what does that have to do with us?
Ganondork- We don't have ANY crystals at all if you have all four.
ZiH- True, but... what else is there that is this important?

The trapped five look around at each other. Eventually, all eyes divert to Alissa's breasts.

Alissa- OH DEAR GOD.
ZiH- No no no. Well yes, but no.
Alissa- Then... what?
ZiH- Ganondork, give me your pendant, or all the lives of those you love will be in danger.
Ganondork- I don't love anyone.
ZiH- Fine, then we'll kill everyone we see.
Ganondork- Fine!

Ganondork takes off his pendant and tosses it towards ZiH. Just then, Likewhoa appears and grabs the pendant in his mouth.

Likewhoa- SNORGLE MORF!

He runs away. ZiH pursues.

ZiH- You blasted rat of an animal! Grr...

ZiH casts a binding spell on Likewhoa, so he freezes. ZiH removes the pendant from Likewhoa's mouth and puts it around his neck.

ZiH- Ahaha.... heh heh heh....

Back at the trap, McGray and Warlock arrive to rescue them.

McGray- HOLY SPAGHETTI IN A CREAMY WHITE SAUCE SERVED WITH A SIDE OF BROCOLLI!
Warlock- WHERE?!??!
McGray- Shut up.
Warlock- ........ WHERE?!??!
Alissa- Help us quick!

McGray takes his sword and slits the netting at the bottom.

ZiH- Well well... if it isn't McGray.
Warlock- Yess....
McGray- No, I'm McGray. You're Peaches.
Warlock- Yess.....
ZiH- You think you can stop me? I am all powerful now. Any attack upon me will not hurt one bit.

McGray throws a rock at ZiH that bounces off his face.

McGray- .... Poo.

jukester

How will he ever defeat ZiH's impregnable face?!

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No votes for nicest? Bastards, your lives are now all forfeit. - Bender1616
SPOOKAY!™ it's MacDaddy Mike

I'LL save the day! ...probably not.

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The ZSB: We're more attractive, smarter, and funnier than you, and our parents are probably the bosses of your parents