HoT- I'm a bloody genius, and I'm a great RPer! What does this tell you, children?

jukester

Scott and BO count down from three in increments of seconds. Ten seconds later, they jump on DL's back, trying to force him down to the ground.

DL- Infidels!

DL casts a mighty spell that takes a second or two to charge up. As BO and scott dangle holding DL's feet, they decide to grab his pants, pantsing DL. DL falls as soon as the pants fall. The crystals fall out of his pocket. ZiH lands first followed by Scott and BO. ZiH catches the crystals as they fall and flies up in the air, catching DL, changing directions and flies away like lightning.

BO- What the **** just happened?
Scott- I saw dong!
BO- Where are we?
Scott- I saw dong?
BO- Where are we going?
Scott- I saw dong...
BO- And why am I in this handbasket?
Scott- I saw dong!

Wacky- ****ing cowards, they never stay long enough for me to kill them...
Monica- So they have the crystals.. three of them at least.
Sapphire- I assume we should recover the last one before it's too late blah blah blah?
Monica- Yeah.
Sapphire- Pff...
Antallic- I left a trinket in DL's pants.

jukester

Bumpage.
---
"You do not know, my son, with how little wisdom the world is governed." ~ Axel Oxenstierna {åß}

Rumpage.

---
"I hate everybody who makes more money than me.
Scratch that, I hate everybody." - SPOOKAY!™

Flumpage.
---
"You do not know, my son, with how little wisdom the world is governed." ~ Axel Oxenstierna {åß}

jukey takes a lot of his writing from reality.
---
"Video games don't make people more violent, and I'll kill anyone who disagrees."~~Gord from www.actsofgord.com

Yeah, like all the parts where Wacky fails at life.

OOH BURN.

---
"I hate everybody who makes more money than me.
Scratch that, I hate everybody." - SPOOKAY!™

Wow mac, I didn't realize you had a problem with illiteracy. However, that would explain a lot of things you screwed up...

To summarize, Mac=d00d who mistook Wacky for Mac when he read through the stories.
---
"Video games don't make people more violent, and I'll kill anyone who disagrees."~~Gord from www.actsofgord.com

Wacky = Nice
Nice = Waste of air

---
"I hate everybody who makes more money than me.
Scratch that, I hate everybody." - SPOOKAY!™

Crumpage.
---
"You do not know, my son, with how little wisdom the world is governed." ~ Axel Oxenstierna {åß}

Wow this **** is still here.

jukester

Indeed.
---
"... and hell if I'm going to make English corrections in a math topic." - CauchysInequality

Fishy- So who's hungry?
Bender- Shut up, we all know we don't have food.
Airy- Ar!
Bender- Shut up, you got me in this mess.
Fishy- I have a story!
Bender- Shut up, I've have enough of your crap.
Airy- Ar ar ar?
Bender- Shut up, I don't miss Alissa. ... ... ... Well ****. Shut up, yes I do.

Bender drops his head and walks away.

Airy- Ar?
Fishy- So there I was, in the middle of the desert... when along came a horny mistress. She was all like "wunt som food" and I said "k thnx hwo bout sum food" and she said "k sonds good"

jukester

I did not know that Canada stinks at both Math and Definitions...
---
"Video games don't make people more violent, and I'll kill anyone who disagrees."~~Gord from www.actsofgord.com

I didn't know America capitalized "definitions".

---
"I hate everybody who makes more money than me.
Scratch that, I hate everybody." - SPOOKAY!™

???- Where are you going McGray?
McGray- Err.... Bregenek.
???- Wrong. That's not where you want to go.
McGray- Oh ok.
???- Don't you remember what I told you?
McGray- Who are you again?

DP and JJ approach.

DP- Who's he talking to?
JJ- Yo momma!
DP- ...
JJ- What?
DP- You're not funny.
JJ- Yo momma!
DP- *Sigh*

Duel, Ganondork, Likewhoa and Warlock return to McGray, JJ, DP, and HoT.

Duel- We had fun!
McGray- You say you talked with me before?
Duel- Huh? What happened?
McGray- South of here?
Duel- That means down, right?
JJ- Shut up, young pedophile.
Duel- Peddopheee... what?
Warlock- McGray seems to be talking to himself.
McGray- A boat? Where the heck am I going to get a boat?
JJ- I tellsya he's inane!
DP- You mean insane?
JJ- Inane.
DP- Fair enough....
HoT- My brilliant deduction says he's talking to an omnipotent spirit that tells him to do stuff that's important.
Warlock- Well your brillant dudectshun can eat my loin cloth!

jukester

SIDE STORY:

I had to write a brief dialogue for a class, it's amusing because it's in British talk.

The Bloody Hell?

(Scene: Maurice's basement in his British house)

[Enter Madeline, his friend]

Madeline: Rightio then, chap, wherethen meet the spiffer dos?
Maurice: Soon as a quitting porpoise fiddles the nunchuck, mate!
Made: Methinks be best 'quipped with ye finest comebacks.
Maur: Whyso?
Made: They be fine people, 'lieve me, but they are just the spordish bunch I've ever had me eyes see!
Maur: What makes you say that, quibbith?
Made: They done choked me scar-tissue right on the noggin!

[Enter Eddy and Trisha]

Eddy: Hello there, lad and lass, tis a fine evening, be it not?
Maur: Greetings and good tidings, fellow shipman!
Trish: Oy, what be the nasty odor lingerin' flotty?
Eddy: Didn't I tell you to not mention their unmentionables?
Trish: Which, the badging horrors or their swift necks?
Made: I'm by myself! I've never been so insulted.
Trish: Be me you I be same.
Eddy: Quite enough, dearest! The kind folks be wholesome 'nough to invite you here.
Trish: Me? Nay! They be invited you, isn't that right?
Maur: One would assume you were, too, Trisha, don't be sixes and sevens on it, eh.
Made: I even sprayed the yonder-glass with turtle dew...
Maur: Don't sabby, love, nothing's gone down to the tiddlywinks.
Eddy: Why can't you just act normal for once in front of hosts?
Trish: Not what me do best, yet the better the hosts, one would assume I be better off.
Made: Better off dead, ye be!
Eddy: I can't take you ANYwhere. What say you on this? 'member down at ol' Buffrey's knock? You straightened his cat with a iron and yanked the toilet full of spender birds! You hoarded his charcoals and burnt his banana!
Trish: ...He didn't not be cruel to me head.
Maur: ...The bloody hell?

jukester

That's awesome.

---
"I hate everybody who makes more money than me.
Scratch that, I hate everybody." - SPOOKAY!™

As always, English slang talk is bloody wonderful.
---
"Sports aren't evil. They give thousands upon thousands of otherwise useless people a free education."~Sacdaddy {åß}

...the bloody hell? I could not understand one goddamn thing they said. Oh wait, that's good. That means I am still somewhat sane.
---
"Video games don't make people more violent, and I'll kill anyone who disagrees."~~Gord from www.actsofgord.com

Alissa- So Syrax... where are we going?
Syrax- To your mother!
Alissa- ...
Syrax- Parallo.
Alissa- Sounds good. Maybe Bender's there.
Syrax- And the delectable SEAL.
Alissa- Yeah... right.
Syrax- Ok... we're here!

They dock their ship.

Alissa- I'm heading to the town. Stay here... and don't kill anyone.
Syrax- HUSHPUPPY!

Alissa deboards and enters the town. She nears McGray and the others. JJ turns his head and lifts his nose.

JJ- I smell sea-lass.
HoT- Or something fishy...
Alissa- Err...
McGray- Ack!
Alissa- Eep!
JJ- Ork!
DP- Norp!
Duel- Oop!
HoT- Existentialism!
Warlock- Harp!
Syrax- HUSHPUPPY!
McGray- So... you have a boat?
Alissa- Yeah, what's it to ya, gruff.
McGray- Gruff? The name's Gray. McGray.
Alissa- I was commenting on your incredibly ugly beard.
McGray- I lost my razor.
Alissa- Sure.
McGray- So you have a boat?
Alissa- Don't insult SS Squidi.
McGray- Yeah sure. Can I borrow it?
Alissa- No. You can pay me to board it and sail somewhere.
McGray- How much?
Alissa- How many of you are there?
McGray- DP, JJ, HoT, QoL, myself, Warlock, the little one, Ganondork, Suicune, and... yep. That's all.
Alissa- 500 gold per person.
McGray- I don't got no time for math.
Alissa- 10000 gold sound good?
Ganondork- Give her 4500 gold.
Alissa- Rargh.
McGray- 4500 it is!

He takes out the gold and gives it to Alissa. She leads them to her ship where Syrax lay naked grabbing at a mouse.

Alissa- Yeah you can stop now, Syrax.
Syrax- HUSHPUPPY!

jukester

Existentialism!
---
"Sports aren't evil. They give thousands upon thousands of otherwise useless people a free education."~Sacdaddy {åß}

I forget. Are me and Alissa co-captains?

---
"Ok I think I'm starting to understand the guys thinking video game chicks are hot, cuz damn Shiva is hot."-Alissa
BOW CHICKA BOW BOW!

Figure it out yourself.

In other words, tais-toi.

jukester

I haven't read this in a long time, just setting it aside for some reason. Good stuff though.
---
All of my teachers decided my combination should be 6-6-6. They must think I'm a nice student. -LikeWhoa(Ū)

HUSHPUPPY!

jukester

Jukester's French is sexy.
---
Myster Mask (alias Darkwing Duck)
http://www.angelfire.com/poetry/angeloflight [aX]

Syrax- Where we taking these, landlubbers?
Alissa- Shut up, we don't speak pirate.
Syrax- Yarrrr HUSHPUPPY!
Alissa- Where ARE we going?
McGray- This island.

He takes out his map and points to a random spot in the ocean.

McGray- Here.
Alissa- There?
McGray- Yep.
Alissa- You mean that random spot in the ocean.
McGray- Trust me, there's an island there.
Alissa- I sail the seas as a hobby. I know of all the secret islands. There isn't one there.
McGray- Oh yeah? Well gods speak to me.
Alissa- I am God.
McGray- Of what? Smelly sea bass?
Syrax- Yarrr be walkin' the HUSHPUPPY for that one, yarrr.

JJ and the others speak to themselves off to the side.

JJ- A freakin' island in the middle of the ocean?
HoT- What on earth is he thinking?
QoL- No clue. He's gone insane.
JJ- I think he thinks he's got a message from a god or something. I should smack some sense into him. ... If he didn't have that arbitrary mole on his cheek.
DP- What mole?
JJ- No talking out of you.

jukester

I'm not sure Alissa has my permission to use our ship for such purposes. She should've settled for 10,000, dagnabbit!

---
"Ok I think I'm starting to understand the guys thinking video game chicks are hot, cuz damn Shiva is hot."-Alissa
BOW CHICKA BOW BOW!

Bender- So let's look around this crap of an island.
Airy- Ar!

They walk along a stony path up a rocky slope.

Fishy- Hey wait! I've got stories to tell! They're about a guy with a beak!
Bender- Shut up, fiend of boring stories!
Airy- Arr ar!
Fishy- Oh... why do people hate my stories.

Fishy sits there, pondering while the others continue.

Bender- Ok. So this mountain-type thing is big.
Airy- Ar.
Bender- Well I care. You don't have feet to worry about.
Airy- Ar!
Bender- Yeah so? My feet are much more valuable than your fins.
Airy- Ar ar ar!
Bender- No way. People eat your fins.
Airy- Ar ar!
Bender- Oh yes. Even with SALT.
Airy- Ar ar ar?
Bender- Yes we're almost there. Wherever there is.
Airy- Ar ar ar!!!
Bender- Hmm yeah it is starting to rain. Let's find shelter.

They walk to a cove near the top of the mountain.

Bender- Damn. The rain's beating hard now.
Airy- Ar.

jukester

McGray- Just north will do for now.
Alissa- Hey, twit, I'm the captain.
McGray- Oh.
Alissa- And we'll go north.
McGray- Haha!
Alissa- No.

McGray sits down in the passenger seats with the others.

Alissa- Ok. North... then to the east. Quite a voyage.
Syrax- You...uhh.. talking to me?
Alissa- Yeah sure, why not.
Syrax- HUSHPUPPY!
Alissa- You gotta stop saying that.

After a half hour of sailing, they slowly veer eastward.

Alissa- Hmm.. starting to rain a bit....
Ganondork- Bloody hell! Shant there be no shelter?
Alissa- Yeah... I don't understand you.
Ganondork- No spiffen docks? No tidy yoinkers? Not even a clubber's spool?
Alissa- If you want to go into the under-room where it's dry, go right ahead.

The passengers enter the under-room, to keep warm and dry.

Syrax- Heehee....
Alissa- What is it?
Syrax- I can see your HUSHPUPPIES!
Alissa- ... Damn this white shirt of pirateness.

jukester

*Bumps this topic so it makes McGray's new topic look insignificant*

jukester

White shirts rock.

---
"Ok I think I'm starting to understand the guys thinking video game chicks are hot, cuz damn Shiva is hot."-Alissa
BOW CHICKA BOW BOW!

That damn Syrax.
---
Alissa knows best... [aX]
Yet even then, we ran like the wind. Whilst our laughter echoed under cerulean skies. - Chrono Cross

Night falls upon them, sleeping in with squeaky boatness in the background. The rain stops. McGray stays awake. So does Warlock. McGray walks over to him, putting his hand on the other's shoulder. Warlock turns around surprised at this disturbance of deep-thought, and, in turn, screams out what he was thinking.

Warlock- MOIST BABY BUTT!
McGray- ...
Warlock- Hello thar.
McGray- ...Yeah.... I think I'll go visit ...err... ... ... ... That Syrax guy....

McGray turns around abruptly and walks away. Warlock turns around and faces out seaward, returning to his thoughts.

Syrax- Fweeheehee...
McGray- Hey Syrax, what's up?
Syrax- My plans to kill Alissa and burn this wretched boat in HELL!
McGray- Better than Warlock, I suppose. ...What do you plan on doing, exactly?
Syrax- Stabbing her.
McGray- With what?
Syrax- HUSHPUPPY!
McGray- Mmmk.

McGray walks away slowly and finally falls asleep.

Bender and Airy awaken.

Bender- Hey... it stopped raining.
Airy- Ar ar ar ar.
Bender- No, **** YOU!
Airy- Ar ar ar.
Bender- Why you little...

Bender flicks Airy in the nose.

Airy- ... ... Ar.
Bender- Just.. SHUT UP!

jukester

Start writing more about Wacky's pwning, cuz that's the only quality writing you seem to do...yeah...
---
"Video games don't make people more violent, and I'll kill anyone who disagrees."~~Gord from www.actsofgord.com

I wanna kill someone.

---
"Ok I think I'm starting to understand the guys thinking video game chicks are hot, cuz damn Shiva is hot."-Alissa
BOW CHICKA BOW BOW!

This voyage be interesting. Yarr.

---
"I hate everybody who makes more money than me.
Scratch that, I hate everybody." - SPOOKAY!™

*giggles*

good work, like always...

still sad that I haven't seen me in it...
That, or I'm just blind...
---
I am Melon, You are Melon...
We Are All Melon {åß}

I guess I'll say this now if others are also wondering.

This topic will not introduce anymore characters. They'll appear in the next pairs. After this topic ends, I'm taking a break from it and doing some other things.

jukester

Wacky and his friends stayed in an inn that rainy night. The following morning, Sapphire and Wacky awaken early. Sapphire walks over to Wacky and sits near him, both with somewhat serious looks.

Sapphire- We're going to get those crystals back aren't we.
Wacky- Man, shut up, I'm trying to listen to the god damn birds chirpin'.
Sapphire- ... That is so inane.
Wacky- Yeah and we're gonna kick DL's and ZiH's asses too.
Sapphire- Is this more about revenge and hate or preventing them from using those crystals.
Wacky- Whatchoo mean, "using those crystals?"
Sapphire- ... Uhh.. didn't you know that with a few more artifacts, they'll ascend into the Cosmic Circle and become gods.
Wacky- Boy george you need to stop sniffin' that weird crap you've got hangin' off your toes!
Sapphire- Yeah... ... I'm serious.
Wacky- I know, *****. It's just too ****ed up to try and figure out.
Sapphire- We can beat them. They're loose cannons. They'll screw up some time. And we'll get them.
Wacky- Whatever. It's not gonna be that hard, dude.
Sapphire- Alright. Where are we gonna go next?
Wacky- **** if I know.

Sapphire stands up and rubs his hair.

Sapphire- The two little tricksters are probably gonna split off the group or follow us around like little dogs.
Wacky- I don't give a **** either way.
Sapphire- Neither do I. ...Monica says she wants to head to the location of last crystal.
Wacky- Does she know where that is?
Sapphire- She says she does.
Wacky- Then we go there... today!

jukester

jukester this stuff is pure gold
---
Maybe I should consider being nicer. I'll consider it.
http://www.angelfire.com/psy/faqs/~A GameFaqs photo site

My climax-sense is tingling.
---
"Sports aren't evil. They give thousands upon thousands of otherwise useless people a free education."~Sacdaddy {åß}

Morning comes. McGray awakens after his very short rest. He sees Ganondork standing at the side of the ship, looking ashore. He turns around and shouts.

Ganondork- Oy! Land ho!

The rest of the group awakens, startled at his exclamation. Warlock's eyes burn in the light. He shades them with his hand as he looks to the beach.

Warlock- Hey, this place looks nice.

Duel gets up and runs to the side.

Duel- Hey! Hey! Hey! A dead guy!

He points to a body laying worn and beaten on the shore.

The people get off the ship and analyze the body. McGray stays off to the side.

Alissa- He looks... uhh... dead.
Duel- Cool!
Alissa- Shut up, little one.
Syrax- When do we eat him?
Alissa- Shut up, insane one.

Just then, the body moves.

Syrax- Oooh! Still moving!
Ganondork- Are you alright?
Syrax- No!
Ganondork- Not you...

Ganondork lifts the man's arm and head.

Ganondork- You okay, mister?
Fishy- Pork!
Ganondork- He's alright... what's your name?
Fishy- Fishy!
Ganondork- Right then... now what is your name.
Fishy- Fishy!
Ganondork- Can't get any sense outta him. Tis a confused little bugger, like that Syrax.
Fishy- Hey! Is that McGray?!?!?!
McGray- No! No! Not me. I mean, McGray!
Fishy- How are ya, buddy???

Fishy gets up and runs over to McGray.

QoL- Hahaha.

Wacky smacks Antallic.

Wacky- Wake up, monkey face.
Antallic- Monkey butt, as well.

Wacky turns his attention towards Monica.

Monica- We should be leaving.
Wacky- Dem *****es ain't up yet. Sapphire! Get dem ***** ass hoes up!
Sapphire- Aye aye, captain jack ass.

Sapphire salutes and walks away.

Wacky- Where is this place again?
Monica- It's of-

Sapphire's banging on the doors of their team mates interupts Monica mid-sentence.

Wacky- STOP THAT INFERNAL RACKET, BOY GEORGE.

jukester

Scurvy barnacle swabby shipmates dead man's chest davy jones' locker ahoy!

---
"Ok I think I'm starting to understand the guys thinking video game chicks are hot, cuz damn Shiva is hot."-Alissa
BOW CHICKA BOW BOW!

Bender- Hey, Seal-face! Wake up.
Airy- Ar ar ar...
Bender- Umm.. do I look fat to you?
Airy- Ar ar ar?
Bender- ****!
Airy- Ar ar ar ar ar!
Bender- You've certainly made a fool out of me this time, seal.
Airy- Ar ar ar!
Bender- Yes sir! LADY SEALS!

Sexy seals come out and massage Airy.

Koolaid man- Ohhhh yeah.

Bender- Hey seal face. Wake up. You're dreaming.
Airy- Ar.... ar ar ar!
Bender- I was your man-servant? Now that's just moronic.

jukester

You said you weren't introducing any new characters in this topic. Why did you do it?
---
"And that, my friends, is the greatest sandwich of all time" ~ Polas
"I am the walrus" ~ see above [aX]

McGray- Get the heck away from me!
Fishy- Buddy!
McGray- Mehh...
Fishy- Want some pudding?
McGray- What pudding.
Fishy- I've got p-p-p-p-pudding!

Fishy holds out his hand.

McGray- ... That is far from pudding, but that won't stop you from eating it...

Fishy licks it all up.

McGray- ...Right.... weirdo.
Fishy- ..I see purple thingies!

He spins around in circles and bumps into Alissa, knocking her down. All the gentlemen attempt to pick her up.

Bender- Well, let's see if the sun's out today!
Airy- Ar ar...

They walk out of the cave. Bender looks out upon the shoreline.

Bender- Good gravy, Seal-Boy! They've raping Alissa... WITH HER CLOTHES ON!
Airy- ... Ar.
Bender- MULTIPLAYER SOLITAIRE, HONKER-CHAN! She needs help!

They jump off the cliff to the shore.

Bender- Well ****, I didn't know there was a cliff here.

jukester

Bender- So there I was... fighting against the evil midgets of midgetland and they outnumbered me twenty million to one. I took out my sword and thought to myself "nah... too easy this way." So I toss the sword aside and-
McGray- You jumped off a darn cliff, idiot.
Bender- Shut up! It's MY story. Now pay attention, there'll be a quiz.
McGray- Dear God....

With everyone settled and introduced, McGray recalls why he's there.

McGray- Say, Mr. Bedner, did you see any sort of ancient scriptures here?
Bender- Off hand, no.
McGray- Drat.
Bender- But I did remember seeing a sign that said "Take next exit for Ancient scriptures"
McGray- ... You're an imbecile.
Bender- Hey, I didn't put it there.
Alissa- Stop moving around! This incredibly ugly bruise needs to heal.
Bender- Who are you? And why are you touching my groin?
Alissa- Your groin? By golly, this is your arm!
Bender- Not you, HIM!
Duel- TEE HEE!!!

jukester

Blumpity-Blurp.
---
"Sports aren't evil. They give thousands upon thousands of otherwise useless people a free education."~Sacdaddy {åß}