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Late November, 2004
If you read last year's Advent Calendar, you know the sad truth: Mare Winningham was eaten to death by the Rancor Monster. If she's to return again for the 2004 holiday season, there's only one way it can happen: voodoo resurrection! Can Knacks and Kuse do it?
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December 1, 2004
Mare's back, but are her newly found good intentions legit? More importantly, what mystery gift will the Playmobil gods bestow upon our friends on this, the first day of December?
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December 2, 2004
Knacks enjoys the honor of opening the second gift box, and seizes the opportunity to wear whatever is inside. Mare's still playing nice, but Kuse is having plenty of trouble getting into the Christmas spirit. Find out why...
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December 3, 2004
The boys have a hard time believing Mare's claims that the third gift box somehow contains a fireplace, but when all's said and done, it's the big holiday toast by the fire as your three heroes happily hang out, unaware of the troubles yet to come.
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December 4, 2004
Kuse finally gets to open a box, but his gift sucks compared to everything else we've seen so far. His private depression expands as the gang continues to get to know each other, 66.66% in bliss.
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December 5, 2004
The gods of Playmobil drop an interesting gift on our friends today...a stage? That's what Knacks assumes, and he's all too giddy about it. Kuse still isn't over yesterday's fiasco, and Mare never seemed interested in vaudeville, but that won't stop Knacks from achieving his dream of becoming an entertainer.
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December 6, 2004
It's a very special day for Mare, Kuse and Knacks as the gift box for December 6th provides them with their very own Christmas tree! Fully decorated, too! It's one of those touchy feely swishy moments that you hardcore rebels will spit at, but if you've got a soul, bring a hanky.
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December 7, 2004
It's the biggest day yet for Mare and friends! The gang celebrates their new Christmas tree by heading to the local sushi bar, where they dine on fish, wine on sake and maybe, just maybe, go home with a new friend. See Mare get drunk, see Kuse get drunk, see Knacks get a wooden novelty boat. Also: roe your boat.
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December 8, 2004
Mare and her pals found a new friend in Einstein the Waiterbot yesterday, so now, at four strong, they march through another gift box and try to figure out what the hell the contents are supposed to be. Knacks, for those curious, still hasn't found his helmet.
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December 9, 2004
It's the moment you've all been waiting for. It's the moment Mare's been secretly dreading. It's the moment that'll change the course of the 2004 X-E Advent Calendar FOREVER. It's a moment so incredible, I had to repaint Mare's facial expression for punctuation. Watch. In awe.
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December 10, 2004
Hey, what's going on here? Are there really two Mare Winninghams? Is it possible? Mare & Mare explain their past, present and future as Kuse and Knacks drool with confusion. Somehow, this all leads to the grand unveiling of a wicker basket.
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December 11, 2004
"Claire" Winningham isn't sharing her sister's vow of goodwill. We know all Mares are born evil, and some just can't deny their roots. Fear the wrath of birthright badness as Claire fucks with Waiterbot and unleashes a plot so fiendish you'll have to wait all month to see it unfold.
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December 12, 2004
The Advent Calendar as you knew it is over. Now, the age of destrucitvity begins. Claire's fiendish plot is realized as Waiterbot threatens punishment on all who disobey her command, while the gang remains completely oblivious to an even more major crime that could ruin Christmas...forever.
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December 13, 2004
Now that Claire and Waiterbot have seized control of the festivities, how will Mare, Knacks and Kuse react? Especially now that it's December 13th -- the fabled Advent Calendar Double-Gift Day?! Tensions rise as gifts are divvied -- which team will take home the best loot?
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December 14, 2004
With so many combustible elements already weighing their opinions and fists into this year's Advent Calendar, can the gang survive a new addition? Meet Random Jim, a young lad who has no idea what trouble he's gotten himself into. Mare and the troops welcome him with open arms, but of course, Team Evil has other ideas...
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December 15, 2004
Mare's so busy combing books for a victory spell that she barely has time to notice the sad truth: Claire's stealing all of the presents for herself! Knacks and Kuse aren't liking this, but until the gang finds a way to take Waiterbot down, they won't stand a chance!
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December 16, 2004
It's the Cold War as Kuse and Knacks prepare for their wand-stealing mission. Meanwhile, Claire steals another holy gift -- her very own kitten! Of course, being who she is, Claire's first impulse is to destroy the present, paws and all. Waiterbot has some reservations, though...
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December 17, 2004
Claire steals another gift from Playmobil, but that's nothing compared to the forty pounds of crazy shit going on behind the scenes. Knacks and Kuse successfully deliver the magic wand to Mare, while Waiterbot secretly raises his kitten on an untested new formula of "Super Cat Food."
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December 18, 2004
Mare, Kuse, Knacks and Random Jim are completely sick and tired of Claire's antics, but they can't do anything about it so long as Waiterbot stands between them. Today, December 18th, is Team Good's first strike back. Whatever is in that gift box ain't good news for Claire...
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December 19, 2004
Megamare Winningham joins Team Good, promising to make times tough for Claire and Waiterbot. Random Jim finally rejoins the fray just in time to bear witness to the contract signing for the greatest death battle since Johnny/Goro: Megamare Winningham versus Waiterbot!
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December 20, 2004
It's the CLASH OF THE TITANS! Megamare Winningham versus Einstein the Waiterbot, to the death, tooth and nail, tutti frutti. With so much at stake for the victor's team, can either of these two warriors afford to lose? And why is the caramel section of a popcorn tin so much larger than reg or cheese?
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December 21, 2004
In the wake of the big battle, Team Good gets settled in for a nice, cozy Christmas, complete with the huge collection of Playmobil gifts. Megamare snags a camera and everyone's thrilled, but dig a little deeper and you'll find the truth: all is not well in happyland.
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December 22, 2004
Team Good is all about the jolly good cheer, but danger lurks beyond each corner. "Whole again," Waiterbot and Off-Camera Friend plot something terrible, while Claire lurks just closely enough to remain a constant concern. On the plus side, today's gift is a puppy!
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December 23, 2004
Claire Winningham strikes back with a reckless assault on Team Good, who were just beginning to wonder why, of all things, a sack full of toys popped out of the latest gift box. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve -- will Santa be saved? Will anyone survive? Who will win?!
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Christmas Eve, 2004
It's Christmas Eve, but there's no time for Team Good to celebrate! They've gotta save Santa! Mare chooses to go it alone, because she's Mare, and by nature, she's a loner. Knacks and Kuse wish her luck and cross their fingers, but even the holiday spirit itself can't diffuse a bomb...
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Christmas Day, 2004
It's the grand finale! Find out who wins, who survives, and who gets presents! Santa Claus arrives with some bad news, but every cloud has a silver blah blah. Loose ends are tied, good tidings are shared, and a merry Christmas to all. Thanks for participating in this month-long bout of stupidity.
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